You Got Me If You Want Me
by Relised
Summary: After a failed suicide attempt, both Dave and Kurt find themselves as patients of Oak Front Hills. Will they be able to help each other through or will they finally succeed in what they started out to do? cutting, suicide attempts, mentioned rape, dub-con ***discontinued***
1. Chapter 1

_I don't own Glee._

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><p><strong>You Got Me If You Want Me: Chapter 1<strong>

Kurt stood on the chair with shaky legs, blood dripping from the cuts on his arms and legs. He did one last look around the room, making sure his note was visible on his desk. It was a simple note, short and to the point. _I'm sorry Dad, I just can't do this anymore. Don't blame yourself, this isn't your fault. I love you._ And then his name signed with a flourish. Kurt closed his eyes, taking a deep breath and then letting it out slowly. He slid his neck through the loop on the rope that was hung from the exposed beam and with one last breath kicked the chair out from under him, causing it to crash into his desk.

Just as his body fell, Finn poked his head in the door. "Hey Kurt? Can you help me on my oh shit!" He exclaimed, running into the room and pushing Kurt up so the rope wasn't crushing his wind pipe anymore. "Hold on, dude," He whispered, trying in vain to get Kurt down by himself.

"BURT!" Finn screamed out, trying not to jostle Kurt too much. "Burt, help me!" The mechanic came up the stair quickly, not liking the sound of fear in his stepson's voice.

"Finn? What's going on?" Burt could be heard from the hallway, sticking his head in the quarterback's room.

"Kurt's room!" Finn gasped, trying to stop the blood from a deep cut on Kurt's wrist while still holding him up. Burt came running in the room, the blood draining from his face when he saw his son. He quickly climbed on the chair and helped Finn pull Kurt down.

"Watch his neck, Finn," Burt said in a low voice as he gently placed Kurt on his bed. His shaking hands searched for a pulse on the bruised neck and let out a low sigh of relief when he found a light one. Finn was on his cell phone, calling 911 and frantically talking to someone on the other end.

"Buddy," Burt said, his voice cracking as he looked at the mess that was his son. "Why did you do this?" His eyes took in the room, noticing a note with "Dad" scrawled across the front on Kurt's desk. Burt read the short note, biting his lip as fat tears ran down his face.

He watched as Finn lead two paramedics up to Kurt's room. The young girl quickly fastened a brace around Kurt's neck in case of damage from the rope and the older man put an IV in the boy's bloody arm. They carefully moved Kurt onto a stretcher and the man informed Burt they would take Kurt to St. Rita's Medical Center. Burt nodded his head, not trusting his voice.

Kurt was oblivious to all of this.

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><p>Burt Hummel sat with his head in his hands in the waiting room. Carole sat behind him rubbing his back gently while Finn paced around the waiting room. The small family was all worried about Kurt. What was so wrong that the normally happy boy had felt it was necessary to kill himself? Just as the wait was becoming too much, Dr. Frank Lopez entered the room.<p>

"Burt?" He said quietly, approaching the family.

"Frank," Burt said breathlessly. "How's Kurt? Is he…"

"Physically, Kurt's fine. We stitched up a few of the deeper cuts and cleaned all the rest. We're giving him a bag of blood to replenish what he lost. There is no damage to his neck or any of the chords. His voice might be a little hoarse for a while, but that will pass. But we are worried about why he did this, Burt. There were many older cuts that had already healed littering his body and the fresh cuts spelt out words like "worthless", "dirty" and "whore." When he woke up he was very distraught and wouldn't leave the IV alone so I'm afraid we had to restrain him.

"I'm going to have a colleague of mine speak to him after he has calmed down a bit, Burt. Dr. Jones has worked as a psychiatrist for this hospital for many years and is very good at his job. He'll have suggestions for what to do from here."

"Can…Can I see him?" Burt asked, his voice still shaky. Dr. Lopez gave him a small nod before leading him down the hallway. Carole and Finn remained behind allowing Burt time alone with his son.

Kurt looked so small under the blankets, his skin pale with dark bags under his eyes. His arms were wrapped with white gauze up to the elbows and Burt guessed that if he could see his son's legs they would have gauze on them too. An IV was placed in the back of his left hand pumping blood from a bag while oxygen tubes rested in his nose. Short straps were wrapped around his wrists, keeping him from reaching out and tearing things off of him. The most heart breaking part, Burt found, was the dark bruises around Kurt's neck.

Burt stopped the sob that was making its way up his throat as he approached Kurt's bed. "Hey Buddy," he said quietly, taking the chair next to the bed. He picked up his son's hand, squeezing it slightly. "How are you feeling?"

"Daddy," Kurt sobbed quietly, his voice low and raw. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

"Hey, it's okay. Everything is going to be okay."

"I keep seeing it! I keep seeing his hands and he won't stop touching me and he hurt me, Daddy, he hurt me so bad and I don't want to do this anymore." Kurt babbled, the drugs Dr. Lopez had given him to calm him down causing him to have a loose tongue.

"Who hurt you, Kurt?" Burt said, his voice full of worry. Kurt let out another small sob before clamping his mouth shut and shaking his head sadly. Burt sighed before squeezing his son's hand again. "It's okay, Buddy. We're going to get you all the help you need. We'll get you through this."

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><p>Three days later Kurt sat on his own bed at home. Carole had gotten his room cleaned as much as she could but there were still a few blood stains in the carpet which Kurt avoided looking at. Burt had removed his door as a precaution for the one day that Kurt would be home before he would be shipped off to Oak Front Hills. Oak Front Hills was a psychiatric hospital close to the county line. This was the last thing Kurt wanted be he realized that after trying to kill himself he really didn't have a choice.<p>

He was completely lost in thought when a soft knock came to his doorframe. He jumped, looking up to see his boyfriend Blaine in the doorway looking worried.

"Blaine," Kurt gasped out, reaching an arm out for the Warbler. Instead, Blaine perched himself on the small coach near-by. "I…I…"

"Finn told me, Kurt," Blaine said quietly, shaking his head in disappointment. "Why didn't you just talk to me if you felt this bad? I would have tried to help."

Kurt bit his lip, looking down at his lap and shaking his head sadly. "I'm sorry."

"He told me about Oak Front Hills, too. And I've come to a decision." Kurt felt his heart jump to his throat and he looked up with wide eyes. "I think we need to take a break until you get things figured out."

"What? Blaine, no I-" Kurt said, tears filling his eyes.

"Hear me out, Kurt," Blaine said softly, meeting Kurt's eyes. "You've already got enough on your plate without trying to make a relationship work, too."

"Blaine, please don't do this," Kurt whimpered, wrapping his gauze covered arms tightly around his waist. "I…I…"

"Kurt, stop. There's obviously something serious going on with you and you need to focus on that." With that, Blaine stood and placed a small kiss on Kurt forehead before squeezing his should and leaving the room. Kurt watched in horror as the first boy he had ever loved walked out on him when he needed him the most.

Kurt climbed off of his bed and began to change to go to sleep, not caring who saw. He kicked the packed bag for Oak Front Hills that lay near the doorway. He didn't even bother to do his nightly skin care regimen. At 9:00, Kurt crawled in bed and hugged his knees close to his chest and wished that his plan to die had worked.

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><p><em><strong>AN<strong>: I hope you liked it. I know I have a million other fics to finish too, but this popped into my head and I could ignore it. _


	2. Chapter 2

_I don't own Glee._

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><p><strong>You Got Me If You Want Me: Chapter 2<strong>

Dave Karofsky sat on the none too soft bed, hugging his knees to his chest. A white bandage was wrapped tight around his now bald head, hiding away the mark that said he failed.

His father, Paul, was one of the district attorneys of Lima and had been none to put a few dangerous criminals away. For as long as Dave could remember, his father had kept a gun in the top locked drawer of his desk. He wasn't sure how this would help them if anyone ever broke into the house considering the fact that Paul's office in the house was downstairs and the bedrooms were up, but it still made him feel safe when he was growing up.

Dave had come home from school a few days into the new school year. He had mistakenly told Azimio that he was gay over the summer and the boy who had been his best friend since elementary school had turned on him.

"I can have a fag as a friend," he had sneered before shoving Dave off his front porch. Dave, who hadn't been expecting it fell back and sprained his knee. He had spent the last half of his summer on crutches. He spent many days at the wellness center in a successful attempt at getting himself ready for football. Two-a-days had passed with nothing wrong and Dave thought that maybe Azimio had kept his secret.

But the fourth day of classes, as Dave entered the locker room for Thursday Night Run Through before the first game of the season, Dave realized that Azimio hadn't cared enough to keep him safe. His locker had been broken open, his belongings ripped and scattered across the room. When his eyes flicked to his locker he realized that someone had spray painted "faggot" on the door. He took a deep breath to settle himself before bending to pick up one of his cleats by the door. When his head was bowed, someone tackled him and pinned him to the ground.

Dave groaned, looking to see Strando and Martin holding his arms as Coulson stood in front of him, a smug smile on his face.

"So we hear you're a faggot, Karofsky," Greg Coulson said, taking a step forward and kicking Dave in the stomach. "We don't need another fucking faggot on this team!" With that, it was like he had said a key word and the whole team was on him. Dave tried to curl in on himself, to try to protect his face, but his arms were being held tight preventing him from fighting back. He cried out as he felt on of his ribs crack and he tried to take a deep breathe. He wondered if Hudson or Puckerman were in the room; he was sure that they wouldn't allow this. They always stood up for Kurt, right?

Just as Dave was sure the day couldn't get any worse, he felt something sharp start to carve into his arm. He looked down and screamed as he watched Coulson slowly carve 'faggot' into his meaty arm. Dave looked up with wet eyes, noticing Azimio watching from the door with a disgusted look on his face. He met Dave's eyes and the injured boy hoped his best friend would come to his defense. But instead, Azimio tucked his helmet under his arm and left the room.

Finally, the rest of the team hurried out to the field, not wanting to be late for practice. Dave hauled himself to his feet and slowly began picking his things up and putting them in his bag. He limped down the hall to the parking lot, whimpering when he saw his truck. The tail lights had been smashed out and someone had keyed his car. He sighed, hauling himself into the driver seat. He sobbed the entire way home, almost killing himself several times when he'd swerve.

Dave stumbled into the house and ran to his dad's desk. He felt around under the desk, sighing in relief that his father was stupid enough to still leave the key taped there. His hands shook as he stuck the key in the hole and pulled out the gun. He pulled himself out of the desk chair and practically crawled up the stairs to his bedroom. He opened the top drawer of his desk and pulled out the suicide note he had wrote after prom. The note told his parents that he was gay and didn't want to be. That it was all too much to handle and he didn't want to do this anymore. With a shaky hand he added that everyone knew and his life was just getting worse. He told his mother not to cry and that he loved her and his dad very much. He signed his name before shakily dropping to the floor in front of his bed.

He unlocked the gun and raised it to his head. His eyes roamed the room and he wondered if he should clean a bit for his mother. He decided against it, closing his eyes as he cocked the gun. The last minute he hesitated, the bullet grazing his head rather than killing him. The cut was still deep but not enough to kill him right away or do brain damage. Dave laid there in a pool of his own blood, losing consciousness shortly before his mother returned home from work.

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><p>There had been no discussion as to what to do next. Dave had sat in his bed, weak and his mind a little fuzzy as his parents worked out where to send him. Oak Front Hills was the only psychiatric hospital in a fifty mile radius that had had any openings. Dave hadn't even been allowed to return home. He had been transferred from one hospital to another, the doctors keeping him so drugged to prevent him from acting out.<p>

He sat on his new bed, trying to remember if this was all worth it. His fingers slowly picked at the seam of the scrub pants he had been given to wear. He twirled his hospital ID bracelet around his wrist and wondered why nothing ever seemed to work out for him.

Dave jumped when his door was unlocked and an orderly stood there dressed in white. The man, who only appeared to be a few years older than Dave, smiled at him before pushing a wheelchair into the small room. Dave was still a little unsteady on his feet and had been forced to allow someone to push him around. He groaned as he was pulled to his feet, his head swimming.

"We're going to get that bandage changed, buddy," Seth, the orderly said with a grin. "Then there's some group TV time before you have to go see Dr. Rogers. How does that sound?"

Dave didn't say anything, simply staring ahead as he was moved to a treatment room. He hissed slightly as Seth worked with quick, cold hands to clean out his head wound before wrapping it was a clean bandage. He obediently took the medication he was given, not even bothering to ask what it was. As he was moved to the TV room, he was pushed past an uncovered window which gave a perfect view of the forest that was in front of the hospital. He knew that in a month the leaves would start to turn and there would be a cold chill to the air. It was the only Ohio weather Dave actually enjoyed.

He sighed as he tried to focus his attention on the small TV. A group of kids, all around his age and all equally as drugged watched the TV. A blonde girl in a hospital gown sat on the floor in the corner and rocked back and forth. A boy who looked like Kurt's hobbit of a boyfriend was talking to himself. Dave sighed again, knowing he had screwed up big time this time, getting himself sent to a locked ward for God knows how long. Not for the first time Dave wished his life was as perfect as Kurt Hummel's.

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><p><em><strong>AN<strong>__: I hope you liked it. Please review. _


	3. Chapter 3

_I don't own Glee._

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><p><strong>You Got Me If You Want Me: Chapter 3<strong>

Kurt hugged himself tighter as he stared absentmindedly out the car window. He hadn't bothered to say good-bye to either Carole or Finn that morning. Instead he stared at the kitchen table as his step-mother had sobbed and clutched him like he was her last life line. Finally he had just stood up, grabbed his bag, and headed to the car. Burt had sighed but followed, stopping by his home office to grab Kurt's admission papers he had been given at the hospital.

It wasn't a far car ride; it only took thirty-five minutes. All too soon in Kurt's opinion, Burt was pulling up to the guard shack outside the gated hospital. Burt handed over the paper the guard asked for and then continued on through the woods to the hospital. Kurt sighed as he got out of the car, flinching as Burt wrapped a comforting arm around his son's shoulders.

"I'm assuming you're Mr. Hummel?" A nicely dressed lady behind the front desk asked as theywalked inside. Burt nodded, handing over Kurt's admissions papers. "And this must be Kurt. Mr. Hummel, if you would sit here with me and we will get Kurt's paperwork filled out. Kurt dear," she paused when Kurt jumped, pursing her lips slightly, "Ms. Higgins will be here to get you checked in just a moment."

"I have to leave my dad now?" Kurt asked, his voice cracking as he began to panic.

"Not yet, sweetie. She's just going to give you a physical and get your belongings checked in. You'll have time to say good-bye to your father before he leaves, I promise." As the woman, who Kurt later learned was named Mrs. Lewis, finished talking, a kind looking woman dressed in white appeared from a locked door.

"Kurt?" She asked, her voice quiet. He nodded, shifting awkwardly. "Follow me, please."

Kurt picked up his bag, giving his father a pleading look to just take him home. "Go on Buddy, you'll be fine," Burt said, giving him a reassuring smile. As he approached the door, Ms. Higgins moved so her body was covering the key pad on the door. He could hear the buttons beep and then she was ushering him through the door and down the hall. She stopped at a small nurses station and picked up a bare chart that would be kept for him. She scanned his admission papers from the hospital before gesturing to a room across the hall.

"I just need you to change into this gown to do the physical, Kurt. You'll be able to change again before we take you upstairs." With that she handed him a gown and left the room momentarily. Kurt sighed, pulling off his skinny jeans and baggy sweater. The bandage on his left arm was stained pink where blood had soaked through and he wondered if maybe he should have had his father change it for him. He tried to ignore the mirror over the sink but couldn't help but flinch when he saw the bruises around his neck. How could he have been so stupid?

Kurt was just sitting back down on the table when Ms. Higgins knocked on the door and let herself in. She went through the steps of a typical physical: taking his blood pressure, pulse, weight and height. From there, things went a little differently. She turned to the counter behind her and pulled out two new rolls of gauze before pulling one of Kurt's hands towards her.

"I just have to document your injuries in your chart, dear. And while I'm at it I'll clean these up for you a little." Kurt didn't answer but watched as she unwrapped his bandages. She pulled a small camera from her pocket and took pictures of the cuts that littered his arm. Ms. Higgins then cleaned out the cuts, giving Kurt a sad smile when he hissed in pain. She neatly and tightly wrapped his arms up before moving on the next arm. She also took pictures of the bruises around his neck and the cut on his thighs.

"Okay, Kurt,' Ms. Higgins said in an overly cheerful voice. "I need to do a cavity search to make sure you haven't snuck in anything contraband." Kurt looked up at her with wide, scared eyes and she sighed. "I know this doesn't sound pleasant, but I promise I will work quick."

Kurt's breathing began to speed up as she gently pushed him back on the bed and fitted his legs in the stirrups he had never noticed until that moment.

"Dr. Lopez also mentioned that you had been sexually assaulted, Kurt." Kurt's breath caught in his throat and he closed his eyes as tears fell down his face. "It's okay, I'm just going to give you a pelvic exam to make sure everything's okay."

Kurt kept his eyes clenched close as he felt the woman who seemed so nice poke and prod him as she examined him. He took in quick breathes as he felt pressure and tried to block out the images of the boy's holding him down on the bed and someone pressing into him. Kurt whimpered, not hearing as Ms. Higgins whispered over and over again that he was okay and that they were almost over. Finally she pulled away and patted his hip in a signal that he could sit up. He wiped roughly at the tears, not meeting the nurses eyes.

"Okay, Kurt. I just need one more picture of your face for you chart and then I'll get you something to change into." Kurt didn't smile as she took the picture, instead stared ahead with dead eyes. Ms. Higgins left the room momentarily and came back with a stack of papers and a pair of scrub pants. She offered the pants to Kurt and he quickly pulled his underwear back on before the pants. She also handed him a plain white shirt from the new pack his father had bought him that had been in his bag. He pulled on a pair of socks and slipped on the slippers Ms. Higgins had gave him.

The nurse was quiet as she went through his bag, checking in his personal items. There wasn't much; a few more white shirts, socks, and underwear, his journal, a comb, and a picture frame which contained a picture of him, Burt, Carole and Finn. Ms. Higgins sighed as she turned around, the picture frame in her hand.

"I'm sorry, but you can't keep the frame, Kurt. The glass could be used as something to hurt yourself with. If you want, we can just pull the picture out and send the frame home with your father." Kurt sighed but shook his head.

"Just send the whole thing home," he said quietly. The nurse nodded and continued writing in his chart some more. Finally, she turned back to him with two bands. She fitted one, an ID bracelet, around his wrist and cut off the excess. The other she fit around his ankle. It had a small white box on it.

"What's that?" Kurt asked quietly.

"It's hooked into our alarm system so that way we know if you are somewhere you aren't supposed to be." Kurt sighed but nodded again. "Since you'll be a level three your personal belongings will be kept locked in the nurse's station. Once you get down the level two they will be kept in your room with you."

"What does that mean?" Kurt asked, jumping off the table as Ms. Higgins gestured him to follow her. She didn't answer as she led him out of the room. She stopped at the nurse's station again and handed him two cups. One contained a small pill and the other had water.

"All patients are required to take the anti-anxiety medication, Kurt. Once you meet with your therapist you might be started on something else." Kurt sighed but took the pill with no other complaint. Ms. Higgins then led him back to an office area where his father was talking with Mr. Reagan, the hospitals administrator.

"Ah, this must be Kurt," he said, his deep voice booming across the room as Kurt entered. He nodded, sitting down beside his father and taking Burt's hand. "Now that you're here we can discuss policies. New admits begin on the third level. You will basically be in a situation close to solitary confinement. There will be individual and group therapy sessions and limited group time, but you will have a lot of time by yourself in your room. Once your therapist, who will be Dr. Barker, has decided you have progressed enough, you will be moved to the second level where you have a bit more freedom. You must get to the first level before we'll even think of sending you home.

"If we have any problems-attitude, fighting, lashing out-you'll be moved temporarily to the fourth level which is complete solitary confinement. Do you understand?" Kurt bit his lip but nodded, his hands shaking as he tried to tighten his grip on his father's hand.

"Meal times are separated by levels, and being a level three you will be supervised. You will also be supervised in shower time. Medications are mandatory here; what the Doctors start you on is what you must take. These are distributed several times throughout the day. The nurses and orderlies who will be stationed on your floor will be more than happy to answer any questions you will have throughout your stay here. Do you or your father have any questions?"

"What about visitations?" Burt asked, squeezing his son's hand again. "I just want to know when I can come see him while he's here."

Mr. Reagan smiled sadly. "While Kurt's still a level three I'm afraid we prohibit visitations from outsiders. We have found that if a patient is dependent on visitors they don't work to get better.."

"I understand," Burt said, nodding his head sadly.

"Once he's been lowered to a level two, family members are allowed to visit every other Sunday. I will alert you and your wife when he has been lowered to that level. Once he gets to level one, family members and one or two close friends can visit every Sunday." Kurt bit his lip, staring at his father with wide, sad eyes.

"I believe that's the only question I have right now, but I can call if I think of something else, right?" Burt asked and Mr. Reagan nodded his head.

"Now, I'll leave you two alone for a few moments to say good-bye then Ms. Higgins will come back to lead Kurt upstairs." With that he left the room, his shoulders almost too wide to fit through the door. As soon as the administrator left the room, Kurt jumped into his father's arms.

"Daddy, please don't leave me here! I'm sorry, I'll be good! I promise I'll be good. Take me with you!" Kurt cried, his blue eyes already turning red with tears. Burt sighed and tightened his grip on his son.

"I'm sorry, Kurt, but you've got to stay here. I'm not upset with you, but you need to get some help. Just do what the doctor's ask of you and you'll be home with me before you know it." The two Hummel's hugged each other close for another few moments, the only sound was Kurt's sobs. Finally Burt squeezed Kurt tight one last time and kissed him on the forehead. "I love you, Buddy. Get better soon, okay?"

"I love you, Dad," Kurt rasped, tears still falling down his face. Holding tight to his son's hand, Burt led Kurt out of the office to where Mr. Reagan and Ms. Higgins waiting for him. Burt and Mr. Reagan shook hands as the administrator promised to be in contact with the worried father. Burt held his son close to him one last time and watched as Kurt was led away. As the nurse paused at the door to type in the code, Kurt looked back at his father one last time, a look of deep betrayal in his eyes. Burt sighed and waved sadly at his son. Kurt didn't wave back.

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><p>Kurt was led to the elevator and stood with his arms crossed. He was cold, which was nothing new since he had lost so much weight since the…incident. Ms. Higgins asked him questions but Kurt didn't answer, instead stared at his feet as the elevator climbed to the third floor. Ms. Higgins stopped at a large metal door and once again typed the code into the alarm box next to the door. The door clicked and she pulled it open, gesturing Kurt forward. She took his file to the locked nurse's station and led him to a back hallway. There she stopped at the fourth door on the left and unlocked it.<p>

"This will be your room. You'll spend a lot of time in here when you aren't at therapy or group time. You'll have time to settle in later but right now is group time. The rest of the patients on this floor are in the TV room."

Ms. Higgins led him down the hall, rattling off facts about where things were. Kurt didn't listen, instead stared ahead of him. When he entered the room, one person caught his eye. Sitting directly in front of him in a wheelchair and looking extremely weak was David Karofsky. And just like that something inside of Kurt snapped.

Before he knew what he was doing, Kurt dove at Dave, punching, hitting and slapping every inch of him he could reach. He punched Dave in the side of the head, not even thinking about the bandage wrapped around the boy's head. Kurt was screaming but he had no idea what he was saying. His thin hands continued to swing at Dave until suddenly hands grabbed him around his waist and pulled him screaming away.

A needle was stabbed into Kurt's thigh, one of the few places left on him that still had some fat. Almost immediately everything became sluggish but he didn't black out. He was dragged to a room close to the nurse's station. Another orderly came in the room carrying a weird jacket. The jacket was pulled onto his struggling limbs backwards and the straps were hooked behind him. His arms were pulled up so he was hugging himself and he whimpered when a strap was pulled between his legs and hooked with the rest of the straps.

The orderly who had dragged him out of the room grabbed his elbow and led him out of the room. He was led to the big metal doors that he had just came in less than fifteen minutes before and typed in the code. Kurt stumbled slightly as they made their way to the elevator.

"'Eve me lone," Kurt mumbled, his tongue feeling sluggish.

"Sorry buddy," the orderly, Seth, said with a smile, and Kurt realized that if he wasn't in the nut house he'd find this guy cute. He kind of reminded him of Sam. "You're going to have a little stay up on level four after that little outburst."

Seth led him to another set of metal doors and typed in the code. Kurt swayed on his feet, his head feeling fuzzy. He was led down a side hall to the nurse's station where Seth checked him in.

"This is Kurt Hummel. He's a level three who's had a little problem. He's new, so he might not be in the system yet. What room do you want me to put him in." The nurse behind the window bit her lip as she nodded. She pulled out a list and ran her index finger down the list.

"Room 7e is free." She reached into a drawer and pulled a key out. "Make sure you bring this back right away."

"Yes, ma'am," Seth said with a smile and a nod of the head. He pulled on Kurt's arm slightly, smiling at the boy who had started to nod off. They turned down two more hallways before stopping at a door with a small 7e sign next to it. Seth put the key in the lock and typed another code to open the door. He led Kurt in, his grip being the only thing keeping Kurt standing when the teen tripped walking in the room.

Kurt stared around with wide, sleepy eyes at his new room. He struggled against the jacket slightly, trying in vain to get his arms free. The walls and floor were completely covered in padding and Kurt realized there wasn't a bed in the room either. A different nurse than the one he had just seen appeared holding a pill and a glass of water.

"Just a follow up to that shot we had to give you, buddy," Seth said, tipping the pill into Kurt's mouth. It took a few tries but he finally swallowed the pill. "Make yourself comfortable. You'll be meeting with Dr. Barker when you wake up to discuss what happened and where to go from here."

Kurt swayed on his feet as Seth and the other nurse left the room, locking the heavy door behind them. A lone light bulb and a high window gave the only light. Kurt slowly lowered himself to the floor, his head even more fuzzy. He struggled with the jacket some more, cursing when he couldn't even get it to loosen up. As his eyes slid shut, he thought of the irony that even in a place like Oak Front Hills Dave Karofsky was still ruining his life.

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><p><em><strong>AN<strong>__: I hope you liked it. Please review. _


	4. Chapter 4

_I don't own Glee._

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><p><strong>You Got Me If You Want Me: Chapter 4<strong>

Dave was beyond confused. He had been staring out the window rather than at the TV. He was trying to ignore Belle, the girl who wouldn't stop rocking back and forth, and AJ, who had started another major argument with himself. Dave had just taken to messing with the seam of his shirt again when the door opened.

A light from the hallway illuminated the slim, tall boy who stood in the doorway and he looked like nothing less than an angel. Dave bit his lip as Kurt Hummel came into view. The former football player was sure he was imagining things. There was no way someone as perfect as Kurt would be locked away in a place like Oak Front Hills. He stared with wide eyes at the rope bruises around the boy's neck and the white bandages that covered both of his arms. As soon as Kurt saw him, something changed.

Dave just had time to ask in a cracking voice "Fancy?" before Kurt jumped at him. Although the boy was extremely underweight and Dave was still a big boy, the punches and slaps actually hurt. Maybe it was because Dave was still weak from getting out of the hospital or maybe it was because Kurt threw a cheap shot and hit him upside his wounded head. The gleek was screaming but Dave couldn't make out what he was saying as his vision swam.

In a flash of white, an orderly ran into the room and locked his hands around Kurt's waist. He pulled Kurt kicking and screaming off of Dave and out of the room. Blood dripped into Dave's eye and he assumed that his head wound had opened again. He could hear Kurt screaming down the hallway as a nurse came running toward him.

"Dave? Dave can you hear me?" She asked. Dave blinked at her a few times his jaw going slack. The blood was dripping off his forehead in a rapid speed and he felt dizzy. The nurse was still talking to him but he let his head fall back as she quickly unlocked the wheelchair he was sitting in and rolled him out of the room. He doesn't remember leaving the floor.

A few hours later, Dave woke up in the infirmary. His head was pounding and he moved to rub his eyes when he found his hands tied to the bed. His eyes widened in panic as he tried to get free. He whimpered, calling attention to him. A nurse came in his line of vision.

"David? How are you feeling?" She asked, a small smile on her face.

"Why am I tied down?" He whimpered again, not meeting her eyes.

"Just procedure, dear. We didn't want you to panic when you woke up and hurt yourself." She quickly untied his hands and he rubbed his sore wrists. She fluffed his pillow and left his bed for a moment before returning with a small cup of water and a pill. "For the pain, Dave. Do you feel okay?"

Dave swallowed the pill and closed his slightly swollen eyes. This was the second time in two weeks he'd been beaten and he figured that was something he was getting used to.

"I'm fine. Is Fancy…I mean is Kurt okay?" Dave asked, looking up at her with pleading eyes.

"So you know Mr. Hummel outside of Oak Front Hills?" She asked absentmindedly. Dave nodded, looking around the infirmary for the smaller boy. "Mr. Hummel has been taken up to level four to calm down. He'll be fine, I'm sure."

Dave sighed but nodded his head as the nurse returned to her post. As he closed his eyes again, he thought about how horrible Kurt had looked when he first saw him. Besides the bandages on his wrists and the bruises around his neck, his eyes had dark circles and he seemed to stare off into nothing. He had flinched when the orderly had touched him and Dave couldn't help but wonder if something had happened to him. Apparently Kurt Hummel didn't have the perfect life Dave had always thought he did.

* * *

><p>Kurt woke up feeling groggy. He sat up slowly, groaning when he found he was still wearing the straight jacket he had fallen asleep in. The longer he sat he realized he had wet himself. His cheeks warmed up as they turned red with embarrassment. He didn't remember having to pee, let alone wetting himself. Kurt groaned as he crawled over to the closest wall and rested his back against it. He gently bounced his head off the wall, trying to shift his arms.<p>

Shortly after Kurt woke up, his door gave a loud beep and swung open to revel Ms. Higgins. She smiled gently at him before helping him to his feet.

"Let's get you cleaned up and then I'll take you upstairs to talk to Dr. Barker, okay sweetie?" She said with her quiet voice and Kurt merely nodded. She walked him down the hall where she met an orderly who was holding a change of clothes and new bandages. In the hall outside the bathroom she turned Kurt around and with practiced hands undid the straps of the jacket. Kurt sighed in relief, stretching his stiff arms as the orderly, Matt, guided him into the bathroom.

Kurt had never showered in front of anyone before. Even in gym and his short run on the football team he had always waited until everyone else had left. Part of this was because all the other boys accused him of 'looking at their junk.' The other reason was because Kurt didn't feel comfortable with his body. Especially now; after months of depression Kurt had almost stopped eating altogether and his ribs poked up through his skin. He whimpered at the cold as he slowly stripped out of his dirty clothes and walked into the running shower. Matt stood close by, chatting awkwardly with him about the weather. Kurt's shower was quick and with shaky hands he pulled his new clothes on. Matt quickly rewrapped his arms before leading Kurt back to the hallway.

"Sorry, man," Matt said and now that Kurt was actually listening he was surprised at the deep, southern accent. Matt held the jacket back up and Kurt looked up at him with pleading eyes. "All level fours have to be restrained to prevent them from hurting themselves or others. Once you talk to Dr. Barker he might adjust it, though." Kurt sighed but passively let Matt fix the straps. He was at least glad that Matt set them slightly looser than Seth had so Kurt could move a little more.

Ms. Higgins came around the corner pushing a wheelchair and Matt carefully pushed Kurt into it, pausing slightly to hook up the lap belt. He moved around and pushed Kurt towards the nurse's station.

"I'm taking Kurt Hummel to see Dr. Barker now," he said, and the nurse from earlier smiled and typed something into the computer. Matt pushed him through the metal doors and onto the elevator, pushing the button for the eighth floor.

Matt stayed with him for the ten minutes it took for Kurt's name to be called and then he pushed him down the hall.

"Mr. Hummel, I presume?" A short man with red hair asked from behind the desk. Kurt gulped but nodded. "Matthew, I believe it would be okay to let Kurt out of the jacket while he meets with me. I'll page you to take him back down once we're finished."

After Kurt had been released and Matt left, Dr. Barker intertwined his stubby fingers and stared at Kurt with a thoughtful look. Kurt fidgeted slightly, stretching his arms and shoulders.

"I have to say I'm surprised, Mr. Hummel," Dr. Barker said finally. "You had been here less than an hour when we had our first problem with you. And while you are a very small boy, you have done a lot of damage to Mr. Karofsky."

"He's done worse to me before," Kurt mumbled, his voice hoarse.

"So you know Mr. Karofsky from before you came here? This wasn't just a random attack." Kurt bit his lip, staring at his hands.

"I used to go to school with Dave," Kurt whispered after a few moments of silence. "He's always made my life a living hell; shoving me into lockers, throwing me into dumpsters, throwing slushies at my face. He'd call me a fag and just made everything horrible. He threatened to kill me once…."

Kurt trailed off, cracking the knuckles in his long fingers. He crossed his legs and tried to block out everything that was going wrong.

"He was expelled for that," Kurt continued, taking a deep breath. "But his dad is some fancy lawyer in Lima and got that appealed. So I…I transferred to Dalton Academy before Dave came back. I thought I would be safer there…." He bit his lip again, looking down as his eyes filled with tears.

"Did something happen to you at Dalton, Kurt?" Dr. Barker asked, cocking his head to the side. "Your chart said you've been sexually assaulted; did this happen at Dalton?" Kurt's breathing sped up and his body began to shake.

"I don't want to talk about it. I…I can't talk about that." Kurt whimpered. Dr. Barker sighed but nodded his head.

"We don't have to talk about that now, Kurt, but we will eventually. For now let's focus on why you attacked Mr. Karofsky within a minute of seeing him."

"He's ruined every other aspect of my life; he's broken ribs, ruined clothes. He took my first kiss from me. He made me fear for my life for weeks. Apparently after I left he moved in on all my glee friends and they actually like him. And yeah, maybe he had nothing to do with…with," Kurt paused, swallowing thickly as he wiped roughly at the tears in his eyes. "He didn't have anything to do with the _incident_. But now I'm stuck here for God knows how long and the last thing I want is to have to go through this with David Fucking Karofsky."

Kurt was feeling more agitated as the meeting went on and his body twitched slightly.

"So when the first person I saw that didn't work here was…was _him_….I don't know what happened. Once moment I was looking around the room and the next minute I was being dragged out of the room. I…I don't want to be that person!" Kurt said, his mood changing rapidly. He stared at Dr. Barker with wide eyes as he shook like a leaf. "I don't want to be that kind of person who blacks out and hurts people and I don't even know why I did it!"

Kurt's rocking back and forth now and the only thought that he can comprehend is: '_great Hummel, make yourself look even more crazy than you already are. You aren't going home for a long time.' _Dr. Barker watched him with a thoughtful expression for a long moment, scrawling notes in a notepad in front of him. Finally he leaned forwards, placing his small hands on the desk.

"I understand you're scared Kurt. And I understand that you've trapped yourself in your mind with these horrible memories you have. Memories about David, memories about what may or may not have happened at Dalton are all circling your head and this kind of makes you a loose cannon. We'll work on that. And thank you for being so open with me. For now, I'm going to start you on a few medications; an anti-depressant, a higher dose of the anti-anxiety meds than what everyone else receives and a mild anti-psychotic. We'll monitor how these work out for you and go from there." Dr. Barker turned and pressed a button on his computer. "I just sent for Matt and he's going to take you back downstairs."

"To level three?" Kurt asked hopefully, wringing his hands. Dr. Barker sighed sadly.

"Back to level four, Kurt. I'm going to suggest you stay down there for a couple of days. Today is Thursday; I'm going to suggest you stay there until Monday. I'll meet with you again before you go back down." Kurt bit his lip, trying to keep his tears at bay.

"You'll be in the jacket for the trip down and dinner. But then you'll be moved to a new room for sleep so your arms won't be quite as trapped, okay? Just do as they ask, take the pills they give you and we shouldn't have any more problems, okay, Kurt?"

Just as Dr. Barker finished talking a small knock was heard at the door and Matt the orderly walked back in. He helped Kurt back into the jacket and got him strapped into the chair as Dr. Barker entered Kurt's new medications into his chart. The doctor handed the file back to Matt who moved behind Kurt to push him back downstairs.

"I'll see you either tomorrow night or Saturday morning, Kurt. Have a good night."

Kurt was quiet on the trip downstairs and throughout dinner. He was allowed to use the restroom and brush his teeth before he was led to a new room. This one was 7f, which apparently was the counterpart to his other room. Ms. Higgins kept a hold on his elbow as she led him in and sat him down on the bed. She handed him a small cup containing a pill.

"It's just to help you sleep, Kurt. We'll start you on Dr. Barker's new additions tomorrow." Kurt nodded and took the small pill, opening his mouth to prove to the nurse that he had swallowed it. "Lay back sweetie," she asked and Kurt did as he was asked. He whimpered slightly as soft cuffs were fit around his wrists and ankles, fastening him to the bed.

Ms. Higgins pushed the hair out of Kurt's face and gave him a small, sad smile. He could feel his eyes getting heavy but couldn't stop the sob that escaped him.

"You're going to be just fine," Ms. Higgins whispered, squeezing his shoulder as his eyes drooped shut. "Good night, Kurt," she called as she dimmed the lights to his room and locked the door. Kurt was asleep before the door clicked.

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><p><em><strong>AN<strong>__: I hope you liked it. Please review. _


	5. Chapter 5

_I don't own Glee._

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><p><strong>You Got Me If You Want Me: Chapter 5<strong>

Kurt had been sitting on a bench outside the bathroom with Matt, waiting to be led in to take his shower. The bathroom was located near the nurse's station where a small radio was playing. He could barely hear it but with the silence that overpowered the fourth floor he could focus on the sound. As the catchy beats to Teenage Dream filled his ears, Kurt froze. His whole body shook and he rocked back and forth.

The memories hit Kurt slow and out of focus. He could hear the laughing as they cornered him and he could feel all the hands on him. Blaine was just above his head, brushing Kurt's hair out of his face as he smiled and sung quietly.

"_You make me feel like I'm a living a teenage dream._" Kurt struggled against the hands and cried out as the pain over took him.

"_Please, Blaine let me go!_" Kurt had cried but Blaine had just smiled at him and watched. He hadn't been one who had held Kurt down, but he sure as hell hadn't stopped them.

Present day Kurt had sat on the bench, hugging his arms close to his body. Since he was being watched closely by an orderly he hadn't had to be restrained and he could feel his finger nails digging into his arm. Matt quietly said his name but Kurt didn't answer. The orderly reached out and gently grabbed Kurt's arm but the small boy lashed out, screaming to let him go. Acting quickly, Matt hugged Kurt close to his body, back to front and pinned the smaller boy's arms to his side. He carefully led Kurt back to his room, yelling for help as he went. Kurt kicked out trying to unsuccessfully free himself. Once he was led into the room a nurse came and quickly stabbed a needle into his arm, filling him with a sedative.

He had fallen asleep crying "don't touch me."

* * *

><p>Kurt took a deep breath before entering the TV room. It was finally Monday and he had been allowed to come back down to the third floor. He had only had one major panic attack Friday morning but other than that he had been fine. He hugged his arms close to his body, picking at the bandage that still remained on his left arm. Since he was right handed, the cuts made with his left hand had been sloppy and shallow; they had healed quickly.<p>

An orderly Kurt didn't know the name of nodded at him as he entered the room. Kurt's eyes scanned the room and spot Dave sitting in a wheelchair by the couch. He took another deep breath before crossing the room and sitting on the couch. He pulled his knees up to his chest and hugged them tightly, laying his head on his knees. Dave jumped slightly when the boy sat down but they both stayed quiet. After a few tense moments, Kurt turned his head to Dave.

"I'm sorry," he whispered. Dave took a shuttering breath but nodded his head.

"I'm sorry, too. For everything." Dave said back and Kurt bit his lip. "God, Fancy. What happened to you?" Dave started to reach out to grab Kurt's arm but stopped when Kurt flinched.

"Life," Kurt said with a bitter snort and Dave just stared at him with wide eyes. This wasn't the Kurt Hummel he knew. His Kurt Hummel didn't have the dead eyes and bitter attitude. His Kurt Hummel was a sweet boy who had never had anything go wrong other than a closeted bully named Dave Karofsky.

"Your neck…" Dave trailed off, his voice barely over a whisper. AJ let out a loud peel of laughter from where he sat staring at the wall and carried on talking to himself. Kurt cleared his throat before answering.

"I just wanted it all to stop," he whispered, not entirely sure why he was telling the boy he used to hate his horrible life story. Kurt blamed the drugs Dr. Barker had him on for giving him a loose tongue. "I mean I'd been cutting since the…the incident…" Dave cocked his head to the side but didn't ask what the incident was. "But it never seemed to be enough. So I tried to hang myself in my bedroom…But Finn found me like right after I kicked the chair away and got me down before it did any damage. My…My boyfriend dumped me when he found out. And now I'm here."

Dave sat in a stunned silence staring at Kurt who was staring at the TV. An old episode of Happy Day's played on the television and Belle clapped her hands along to the theme song. Dave had just worked up the courage to say something to Kurt when the smaller boy talked again.

"I really don't know why I told you all that…Dr. Barker has me drugged up to my eyeballs and I guess my tongues a little loose." He whispered, messing with the bandage on his left arm again. "I guess since I'm right handed I didn't do much damage to my right arm," Kurt rambled on. "Maybe if I was ambi…ambid…that one work I can't say where you can use both hands equally?"

"Ambidextrous?" Dave suggested, and for a moment Kurt's eyes lit up as he smiled slightly.

"Yeah! That word. Maybe if I was that word I could have just finished myself off and I wouldn't have to worry about all this. Guess I just suck at everything."

"That's not true," Dave whispered, furrowing his brow in worry. "You're perfect. And you always will be to me." Kurt stared at Dave with wide eyes, blinking rapidly. Finally he gave Dave a goofy grin.

"That's very nice."

"God, Fancy. You really are drugged." Dave said, finally reaching out and touching Kurt's right arm. The gleek flinched buy Dave didn't let go. "We're gonna get each other through this, okay?"

"I wanna go home," Kurt mumbled, his good mood suddenly ending.

"I know man. Me too, me too."

* * *

><p>Later that night once Dave had gone back to his room, he sat back and stared at the ceiling. Kurt's room was next to his and when Level Three quieted down for the night you could easily hear through the walls. Dave could hear the smaller boy sobbing and Dave's heart broke at the sound.<p>

"No!" Kurt screamed and Dave jumped. "Please, please let me go. I won't tell! Please just don't hurt me! Blaine, please don't let them hurt me!" Dave shoved his fist into his mouth the muffle the sound as tears welled up in his eyes.

He had fallen in love with Kurt shortly after he kissed the teen. Of course Dave never believe anything would come of that and was sure not to get his hopes up. Even if he had came out of the closet right after the kiss, he was sure Kurt would never want to be with him. Dave hated himself for hurting Kurt and hated anyone who would dare hurt him.

Dave wondered if whoever hurt him caused the dead look in Kurt's eyes. As Dave started to drift off, thankful of the sleeping pills Dr. Rogers had him on, he vowed that he would get Kurt out of this place. He would never let anyone hurt him ever again.

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><p><em><strong>AN<strong>__: Sorry this one's so short. I hope you liked it. Please review._


	6. Chapter 6

_I don't own Glee._

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><p><strong>You Got Me If You Want Me: Chapter 6<strong>

Dave followed Kurt on shaky legs as the level threes were led to the fifth floor for dinner. He swayed slightly and Kurt hesitated, falling back so Dave could use his arm as support.

"You okay?" Kurt asked, his eyebrows furrowing in concern.

"Fine," Dave grumbled, trying to stand up straighter. "I just haven't walked further than from that damn chair to my bed in what? Three weeks? Just got to get used to walking again." Kurt smiled slightly but nodded. The two boys walked at the back of the group, each staring in front of them idly. Dave stumbled again and Kurt without thinking reached out and grabbed Dave's hand.

"Don't think anything of it," Kurt whispered so only Dave could hear him. "Happy drugs are making me extremely happy and impulsive. I don't really want to hold your hand." Dave snorted but laced their fingers together, letting Kurt support some of his massive weight.

They were right outside the dining room when it happened. Kurt was still holding Dave's hand when they passed a level one who had remained behind. The boy sneered at Kurt and Dave and mumbled something that sounded like 'fucking faggots.' Dave's mind flashed to the scene in the locker room, to the boys who had been his best friends since middle school turning against him. And in the choice of fight or flight, Dave had always picked fight. His hand dropped Kurt's as he turned, screaming and swinging at the level one.

"Dave?" Kurt's high pitched voice rang through the air as he tried to grab Dave's arm again. Dave continued to yell, his words not making since as he tried to get to the level one. The boy smirked but quickly ducked down the stair well after his nurse. Two orderlies, much bigger than the ones who had dealt with Kurt, came out and wrestled Dave away from Kurt. Even though Dave was still somewhat weak he fought hard against the orderlies who each had a tight grip on his arm. A nurse who came out of nowhere stabbed a needle into the struggling boys arm and Dave immediately stilled.

Kurt sobbed, watching as Dave was dragged away. He assumed he would spend some time on level four, just as Kurt had a few days before. Seth came behind him, offering his hands palm up in a peaceful gesture. When Kurt appeared that he wasn't going to panic at Seth touching him, the orderly gently grabbed Kurt's elbow and led him into the dining room. Seth sat Kurt down at a table by himself and left for a moment to get Kurt a tray. Kurt stared at the tray with no desire to eat as Seth sat down next to him.

"You have to eat, Kurt," the orderly whispered, forcing a fork loaded with ravioli into Kurt's hand. "Dave will be fine. You survived level four, didn't you?" Seth said with a small smile, trying to make Kurt laugh. Instead, Kurt dropped his fork back down on the tray and wrapped his arms around his waist. Seth sighed and picked up the fork again, holding it up to Kurt's mouth. "I'm not above feeding you Kurt. I don't want to see you having to be force fed by someone else."

Kurt sighed, blinking back tears as he opened his mouth. He tightened his grip around his waist and chewed slowly. Although he had ate with no complaint on level four, he could almost feel the weight he had started to gain back in that short time. He had vowed not to eat more than necessary and most days when the level threes came to eat no one paid any attention to him. He would wrap enough food in his napkin and drop some on the floor and then have his tray checked so he could leave. Tonight, however, with Seth watching him Kurt knew he had to eat.

Seth encouraged him on, holding small forks full of food up to Kurt's mouth until the boy would open and eat it. Finally the plate was half gone and Seth smiled. "One last bite and I won't make you eat anymore, okay?" Kurt sighed again but ate it, hating himself for enjoying the taste. Seth grinned throwing Kurt's tray away and going to talk to Mrs. Smith who was the nurse in charge of dinner. She nodded her head at whatever Seth had said and Seth returned back to Kurt.

"Ready to go back downstairs?" He asked, grabbing Kurt's elbow gently and helping the boy to stand. Kurt wasn't sure why, but he wasn't afraid of Seth and it didn't bother him when the boy touched him. Maybe it was because the boy was like a less nerdy Sam to Kurt. Kurt followed Seth downstairs and stood in front of the nurse's station, switching from one foot to the other.

"David Karofsky won't be back tonight, correct?" Mrs. Tyme asked from behind the desk. Seth nodded. "Okay. What else do you need, Seth?" She asked, glaring slightly at Kurt.

"I need Kurt Hummel's dinner meds, please." She sighed but stood up, returning shortly with a small cup of pills and a larger glass of water. Kurt took the pills without complaint, opening his mouth to prove to the grumpy nurse that he had swallowed them. She clucked her tongue but nodded. She checked the clock and clucked her tongue again.

"It's television time. Seth would you mind running it tonight? You can go ahead and take Mr. Hummel here with you."

"Yes, ma'am," Seth said, ushering Kurt away from the desk. Mrs. Tyme slid the window shut with a sharp click.

Mrs. Tyme was the night nurse for the third floor and she hated everyone. She had worked at Oak Front Hills since it opened in the seventies and Kurt had heard she had even had her daughter committed in high school. She never showed anyone any symphony and was strict about every rule. Kurt, who had many bad dreams at night, had already had a bad run in with the night nurse when he couldn't stop crying. She claimed he would wake everyone else up and threatened to send him back to level four. Seth had managed to talk her out of it. The only enjoyment Mrs. Tyme had was apparently her smoking break which she took every two hours. She was always gone for almost 20 minutes.

"Think you could do something for me, Kurt?" Seth asked quietly as the entered the TV room. No one else was back yet and Kurt nodded his head. "Tongue your sleeping pill tonight," the orderly whispered, laying a hand on the small of Kurt's back. "I want to show you something."

Kurt bit his lip but nodded. He trusted Seth and he was sure nothing would go wrong. He smiled at the orderly who nodded back.

* * *

><p>Dave growled slightly as he was escorted into Dr. Rogers office. Dr. Rogers reminded him of Coach Williams, the cut throat hockey coach who hated Dave. The large man stood behind his desk staring out the window when Dave was brought in, and unlike Dr. Barker he didn't suggest taking the jacket off Dave. Finally the doctor turned around, he large arms crossed across his chest.<p>

"This is the first time we've had trouble with you, David," Dr. Rogers said in a surprisingly gentle voice. "Can you explain to me what happened?"

"I'm not a fucking faggot," Dave shouted, struggling with the jacket. "I'm not!"

"David, when you first started speaking with me you admitted to me that you were gay. I have a feeling that you aren't comfortable being so."

"I'm not!" Dave shouted again, but he wasn't sure if he was still denying being a 'fucking faggot,' gay, or not being comfortable being so. He cursed as his eyes filled with tears and he let his head fall back against the seat. Dave let out a shuttering breath as he whimpered. "I don't want this. I don't want to be…"

Dr. Rogers was silent for a long while, letting Dave sob to himself. "I understand what you're going through, David."

"How?" Dave yelled back, beginning to struggle with the jacket again. "Did you fall in love with the boy who hated you? Who you bullied all your high school career? Did you kiss him in the locker room and he looked at you with the most disgusted look on his face. Did you win Prom King while said kid you fell in love with was Prom Queen as a joke? Did you admit to your best friend that you were gay and have him turn on you? Have him tell the whole fucking football team and then the proceeded to kick the shit out of you? Huh? Did all that shit happen to you, too? How could you know what I was going through."

Dave's chest was heaving as fat tears fell down his face. Instead of struggling with the jacket he hugged his arms closer to his body and rocked back and forth, struggling to catch his breath.

"I just want it to stop. I want it all to go away…" Dave whimpered, biting his lip in an attempt to keep the sobs in.

"I admit that I never had those things happen to me, David," Dr. Rogers said in his gentle voice. "However…" he cleared his throat. "However my son did. My son was a lot like you, David. He was big in sports; star quarterback, starting pitcher on the baseball team and record winning swimmer. He won Homecoming King and always had the beautiful girls on his arms. He loved science and was even in show choir. My son was an all around All-American teenager."

Dave took another shuddering breath, rocking back and forth harder than he had been before.

"But my son had a secret, David. A secret that you share. He was gay and he feared what the reactions would be of those around him. In the eighties, you see, being gay wasn't as easily as accepted as it is now. Jeremy admitted to his girlfriend that he didn't have feelings for her and in fact that he was actually attracted to men. Feeling betrayed, she told the whole school. Jeremy was made fun of by his teammates and classmates. And his friends in show choir turned on him. He was attacked by his best friend. That night, Jeremy took his life. I never had a chance to tell him I still loved him, no matter who he loved."

Dave sobbed, his breath coming faster. He lunged to the floor, falling in front of the doctor's trash can and dry heaving. Dr. Rogers sighed and sunk down in a chair next to Dave. He patted the boy on the back and waited until he was finished. When Dave's breathing was almost turned to normal, Dr. Rogers whispered into his ear.

"I failed one troubled gay teen twenty years ago, David. I'm not going to do that again. I'm going to get you through this. You just have to believe in you. I'm going to keep you on level four for the evening. You can go back downstairs tomorrow."

Dave cried himself to sleep that night, closing his eyes without the need of the sleeping pill.

* * *

><p>Kurt bit his lip, carefully moving the sleeping pill in his mouth so Mrs. Tyme couldn't see it. As he was escorted to his room by Seth he spit the pill into his palm and put it in is small pocket. Seth winked at him as he unlocked Kurt's door.<p>

"I'll see you in an hour," the orderly whispered as Kurt entered his room and sunk down on his bed. The gleek was nervous but did his best not to let it show. He laid his head down on his pillow and waited. Finally after what felt like hours his door clicked and opened to show Seth with a large smile on his face.

"Mrs. Tyme is taking her smoke break, so we have twenty minutes. Don't worry, I'll have you back in time. And I got another, none soggy pill for you so you can sleep after." Kurt nodded, giving Seth a small smile. "Follow me, babe," Seth said with a wink.

The two boys trailed down the hallway, stopping at a door Kurt had never noticed before. Seth unlocked it but held an arm out to stop Kurt from entering.

"You can't actually go in since I don't have clearance to turn your anklet off and it will set off the alarms. But you should be able to see it from here." With that, Seth pushed the door back so a large stain glass window was on display. The moon illuminated it, making it look even more breathtaking.

"It's a story, actually," Seth said, and Kurt grinned at him, his eyes still wide in shock. "It's about this seventeen year old boy, you see. And this boy thinks his life is over. He wants to die, sees no other option. And then he meets this other boy. And this second boy manages to convince him that maybe his life isn't so shitty. He convinces this seventeen year old boy, who's much younger than him, you see, that he's still very, very loveable. He just has to hold on."

Seth wrapped his arms around Kurt's waist, pulling him so Kurt's back was flush against Seth's chest. Kurt tensed slightly, but didn't fight the hold. Seth gently placed a kiss on the slightly shorter teen's neck, causing Kurt to shiver.

"What do you think about that story?" Seth said with a grin.

"I think you're full of shit," Kurt whispered back, but leaned back and kissed Seth's cheek before pulling away, walking slowly back to his room. Seth snorted, fallowing him quickly. He unlocked Kurt's door and pulled the fresh pill out of his pocket. Kurt swallowed the pill dry and settled down on his bed. Seth tucked him in and kissed his forehead.

"Good night, beautiful," he whispered, looking Kurt back in for the night.

* * *

><p><em><strong>AN<strong>__: I hope you liked it. And before people panic about Seth and Kurt, just a hint: Seth isn't as good of a guy as he sounds. Just give it a bit. Dave will be back to attempt to save the day soon._


	7. Chapter 7

_I don't own Glee._

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><p><strong>You've Got Me If You Want Me: Chapter 7<strong>

"I hear voices…" Connor said. Kurt muffled a snort as he crossed his legs, bobbing his foot in time with his own breathing. "I mean, before I got here there was always the random "you're worthless, you've got to do better" voices. But now I swear to God I can hear voices outside my room at night. And I've looked out the window-no one's there. I feel like I'm going crazy. Well…crazier…"

Kurt stared at his lap, biting his lip to keep from laughing. They were currently sitting in the sitting room during the third levels group therapy time. Dave kicked Kurt's leg slightly, shaking his head as he gave the smaller boy a questioning look. Kurt shrugged and began picking at his nails again. Mrs. Tyme had trimmed his nails for the first time since Kurt got out of the hospital and now they looked horrible.

Connor was a tall, thin boy who had only been at Oak Front Hills for two weeks. He had admitted the first day of group that he had an eating disorder and suffered from illusions and voices. Connor was a very open boy and was normally the one who opened up group therapy. Kurt knew for a fact that Connor was hearing real voices outside his room at night because it was Kurt's voice he was hearing. Connor's room was just around the corner from the chapel Seth took Kurt to every couple nights and they were far from silent.

"I understand how that can be frustrating, Connor," Mrs. Lacey said in a quiet voice. Kurt hated how everyone who worked at Oak Front Hills was so quiet. "I'm sure if you talked to Dr. Barker he would be able to help you with it. Now, would anyone else like to tell us anything? How about you, Kurt?"

Kurt raised an eye, still picking at his fingernails. His bobbing foot started moving faster and he bit his lip. Dave stared at Kurt with wide, hopeful eyes, hoping that today was going to be the day Kurt finally talked.

"I have nothing to say," Kurt said, which was his answer ever group session. Mrs. Lacey sighed, marking something down in the notepad that sat in her lap. Kurt rolled his eyes as he ducked his head again.

"What about you, Dave?" She asked, turning to the surprised jock. Normally people seemed to forget he was there and he never had to say anything. He licked his lips and took a shaky breath.

"Um…It's the beginning of November, right?" Mrs. Lacey nodded, smiling slightly at him in encouragement. "Well hockey season should be starting soon. Like right before Thanksgiving. I…I should have stuck with hockey. But my dad…my dad played football in high school and he thought I should play football in high school so I quit. I…I should be at hockey practice right now…"

Kurt looked up when Dave's voice trailed off, trying to meet the larger boy's eyes. Dave was staring out the caged window behind Connor, a lost look on his face. Kurt was pretty sure he even saw tears running down Dave's face. He reached out a shaky hand, surprised at how small it looked to him and took Dave's hand. Dave jumped slightly, but gave Kurt a small smile.

"You liked hockey, I take it?" Mrs. Lacey said, trying to get Dave to keep talking."

"Uh, yeah. I mean I liked to be on the ice…and I liked all the chaos and slamming into the glass and the bruises from the puck and stuff…I mean it's better than the bruises from getting the shit kicked out of me by the football team…" He trailed off again, but Mrs. Lacey didn't try to keep him talking this time.

"That was a good session, everyone. You have a little bit of extra time before Lunch. AJ, Belle, Annie, and Jesse back to your rooms, please. The rest of you may either sit in here or in the TV room." She nodded at the two orderlies who moved in to supervise the room as she led the others back to their rooms. Connor began pacing the room and Melissa and Meredith walked towards the TV room. Brent and Wade began playing checkers, arguing who got to be red. Dave gestured his head to the small bench by the window and raised an eyebrow at Kurt who wasn't looking at him. He sighed, nudging Kurt's leg with his knee before grabbing the boy's wrist and pulling him to his feet.

"Something's going on," Dave said quietly, keeping his eyes on Mrs. Lacey and Matt who were talking quietly by the nurse's station. "Something is going on with you and I'm not sure it's a good something."

"What are you talking about?" Kurt asked, glaring at Dave.

"Something had been going on with you and what's his name. I may be drugged, but I'm not stupid, Hummel," Dave growled, forcing Kurt to look at him. "And I'm 99.9% sure that I heard your door open after lights out the last night he worked. And you act all miserable when he doesn't work. What the hell is going on?"

"I don't see how this is any of your business," Kurt growled back, turning so he was facing Dave completely. "But yeah, so what if Seth and I are friendly to each other? So what if he talks to me and treats me like I'm actually worth something? So what if he's older? I think I deserve something to go right after so many shitty things going on."

Dave watched Kurt's face, amazed at the even tone he kept as he tore into Dave. His eyes were still dull, duller than Dave had ever seen and Kurt seemed to be focusing hard on what he was trying to get out.

"Listen. I don't care what you do," Dave said, keeping his tone even as Kurt looked away. "But if this makes you worse, if this makes you stay here longer, if I think it's hurting you, well then I'm stepping in Kurt. We're in this together, remember?"

"Fine," Kurt whispered, getting up and walking over to Mrs. Lacey. "Can I got to my room, please?" He asked quietly. She looked shocked, but nodded, escorting him down the hall.

* * *

><p>"Mrs. Lacey has been telling me that you aren't participating in group, Kurt," Dr. Barker said, taking a big drink of his coffee.<p>

"I have nothing to say," Kurt said stiffly, pursing his lips as he looked away.

"Would you feel more comfortable talking just to me? I can understand that talking about things in front of a big group is slightly unnerving." Kurt didn't say anything, he just stared at his sock-clad feet. "Kurt, normally I'm not one to push. It's important that you feel comfortable enough to talk to me. But you have been here for two months and you have not talked to me once since you left level four. You need to talk to me, Kurt, or you are never going to get out of level three."

"What do you want me to say?" Kurt yelled, slamming his hands down on the arm rest of the leather chair he was sitting on. "That my boyfriend always complained about how wide my hips were? That he watched as the Warblers held me down and…and…and as John r-r-raped me? He fucking sang to me as I was screaming for him to help me!" Fat tears fell down his cheeks, Kurt's entire body was shaking.

"And then…then I was just so sick of everything. I hated myself and everyone and I couldn't focus on anything. I wasn't even going to Dalton when it happened! I had just went to v-v-vist Blaine and the jumped me! I couldn't fight them off. Not all of them!" Kurt let out a loud sob, bringing his knees up to his chest and hugging them tight. "And my grades were dropping and Dad was yelling at me about how I was so much smarter than that. And I couldn't sing in Glee Club because it only made me thing about it happening. I couldn't sleep and I couldn't eat and Blaine kept saying he was so disappointed in me because I was falling behind in everything I loved. But he let them! He watched!"

Dr. Barker sighed, taking off his glasses as he watched Kurt break down in front of him. "Is that enough for you?" Kurt screamed, sobbing. He buried his head in his arms and cried harder.

"I am sorry, Kurt," Dr. Barker said quietly, standing up and bringing Kurt a box of tissues. He also brought the crying boy a glass of water and Kurt gulped it down, hic-upping loudly. "That was a good start, a very good start. You did so well. I'm going to suggest you go to bed early tonight, Kurt. I'm sure you're exhausted." Kurt sighed, nodding his head as Dr. Barker typed his instructions into the system. Seth appeared at the door and escorted Kurt down to the dining room.

"He's sending me to bed early," Kurt whispered to his secret lover who nodded.

"Why don't you try to get some sleep after dinner. Tongue your pill tonight and I'll come get you tonight. I've missed you." Kurt gave a small, watery smile and nodded. He pushed his dinner around on the plate, taking a bite every now and then, dumping some of it under the table. When Seth finally cleared him to go upstairs Kurt was relieved.

Standing at the nurse's station, Kurt swallowed his medication prescribed by Dr. Barker. With a deep breath and practiced ease he moved the sleeping pill so it was next to his gum by his back molar. Mrs. Tyme sighed but nodded, sending Seth to get Kurt settled in his room for the night.

"You're far enough away from the TV room so you should be able to get some sleep without that bothering you. Tyme and I are switching breaks tonight so it's going to be a little later. I'll wake you up, I promise." Kurt nodded, giving Seth a small smile. Seth squeezed his elbow slightly, giving Kurt a small push into the room. Kurt sighed as the door buzzed, sealing shut. He curled up on his side and cried himself to sleep.

* * *

><p>Around two in the morning Kurt's door buzzed before swinging open, causing the sleeping boy to jump. As his heart rate came back to normal, he smiled up at his savior. "Come on, beautiful." Seth said with a big grin.<p>

The two boys walked down the hall, hand in hand. They stood in the doorway of the chapel, Kurt's wide eyes taking in the stain glass window as they always did.

"So I hear you had a rough session with Doc Barker," Seth said in a quiet voice, squeezing Kurt's hand gently. Kurt let out a shaky breath, nodding his head. "Well does it help if I tell you I'm proud of you? I'm glad you're finally talking to him." Kurt shrugged, walking along with Seth. He lowered himself to the floor against the wall across from his room.

"It sucks," the broken boy said, his voice barely audible. "I hate talking about it. I hate thinking about it. And it's all I'm going to see for days and days and days and everyone thinks it's so great that I'm getting this out in the open. And it sucks. I just want it to all go away. I just want everything to stop."

Seth sighed, dropping down next to Kurt. He put an arm over the shaking boy, biting his lip when he could easily feel each rib through the boy's shirt. Kurt laid his head on Seth's shoulder, squeezing his eyes shut tight.

"It's going to be better. I promise you, it's going to get better." Kurt didn't answer. Instead he reached a shaky hand up and grabbed Seth's chin, tilting the boy's head down and kissed him deeply. He wasn't sure what he was doing and the voice inside his head was screaming: "Kurt, you're an idiot." But instead of pulling away, Kurt moaned into the kiss, tangling his fingers in Seth's hair. Set rested a hand on Kurt's thigh and nipped at the younger boy's lip.

After a hot and heavy make out session, Seth's watch beeped and he sighed, pulling away. "Come on, buddy," he whispered, helping Kurt off the floor. He pulled a fresh sleeping pill out of his pants pocket and Kurt swallowed the small pill dry. Seth tucked Kurt in as he did every night they snuck around and brushed his hair off his forehead. "Good Night, beautiful," he whispered, kissing Kurt's forehead. The small boy was already asleep.

As Seth stepped out into the hallway and locked Kurt's door, he never noticed the movement the room over. A sleepy and bleary eyed Dave Karofsky pressed his body against the wall as Seth's eyes flickered back behind him, not seeing the boy out of bed. Dave had seen it all; the holding hands and holding each other in the hall. He'd seen Kurt kiss the orderly and Seth kiss him back. Dave sighed, crawling back onto his bed.

"Fancy is officially out of his mind," Dave mumbled as he let his heavy eyes close again. Dave knew it was up to him to stop Kurt from ruining his life even more.

* * *

><p><em><strong>AN<strong>__: I hope you liked it. Please review. _


	8. Chapter 8

_I don't own Glee._

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><p><strong>You've Got Me If You Want Me: Chapter 8<strong>

"Eat, Hummel," Dave said through clenched teeth, glaring at Kurt. Kurt huffed but shoved a small fork full of green beans in his mouth. He chewed slowly, swallowing against his will. Narrowing his eyes he turned and stuck his tongue out at Dave.

"Happy?" Kurt growled, innocently dropping some beans on the ground.

"I'll be happy when I can't see your fucking ribs through your shirt, okay?" Dave's eyes raked across the room, freezing on the commotion at the head table. Two nurses and an orderly were practically shoving food down Connor's throat. Connor was crying, swinging his arms out to try to knock the fork away.

Dave had been watching Connor and was amazed at how thin the boy was. Connor was way over six foot tall and Dave was sure he had heard a nurse say that the boy weighed less than 135 pounds. At best he looked like a Holocaust victim with his shirt off.

"You're going to end up looking like fucking Connor. What good will that do? They're going to start force feeding you soon if you don't start eating, Kurt." Dave said, trying to get Kurt to realize how important this was. After a moment, Kurt sighed and shoved a large mouthful of chicken into his mouth, chewing slowly. "Thank you," Dave whispered, nodding his head.

The two boys ate in silence, Dave constantly encouraging Kurt to eat a bit more. Finally they were dismissed and followed the group of Level Threes back downstairs. Seth had the night off so Kurt was actually going to go to bed on time and he was excited. He felt so sleep deprived when he snuck off with Kurt. Dave huffed as he watched Kurt swallow his assortment of pills and move aside to wait. Dave swallowed his two pills and fallowed the smaller boy to the TV room.

Dave dropped down onto the couch next to Kurt without a word. He didn't talk back when Kurt talked to him, just stared at the blank TV.

"Okay, what's wrong?" Kurt asked, turning so he was looking Dave in the face. Dave sighed but shook his head.

"Nothing."

"Oh? It doesn't seem like nothing. You're being a dick." Kurt exclaimed, grabbing Dave's arm in a tight grip.

"I don't'see how you think sneaking around with Seth is helping you," Dave whispered harshly, slightly pleased when Kurt flinched away. "After everything that's happened to you, you just jump on the first thing that moves. Skipping your meds, running around at night with him, and mopping around when he's not here isn't helping you, Kurt. It's making your worse. And oh hey-remember who's room is next to yours? Yeah-mine. I can see you guys at night; I hear you. I get it your lonely, but throwing yourself at an older man in a fucking mental institution is not going to make you feel any better."

Kurt stared at Dave with wide, tear filled eyes. His chest was heaving and he kept clasping and unclasping his finger. Immediately, Dave regretted what he said.

"Kurt, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that," he whispered, trying to take Kurt's hand. Kurt swatted him away and stood up on shaky legs.

"Just leave me alone," Kurt hissed. "You don't know anything about me, stop pretending that you do!" He crossed the room and sunk heavily next to Connor who was hugging his knees and rocking back and forth.

"I know you better than you think I do," Dave whispered sadly, letting him go.

* * *

><p>"So tell me, David," Dr. Rogers said in his quiet voice. What do you like about high school?"<p>

"Um…I like being with my fri…" Dave trailed off, looking down when he realized he had no friends. "I like calculus. And physics. I liked playing football…But I liked hockey better. I guess I liked knowing people feared me; there was a sense of order."

Dave got quiet again and looked up to see Dr. Rogers writing on a notebook. The doctor nodded and cleared his throat.

"What about friends, David?" he asked.

"I…I didn't really have many friends. I mean I guess I was friends with the guys on the football team but not close friends. And Santana kind of became my friend during our pretend relationship. But Azimio had always been my best friend until…until…" Dave trailed off again, looking away from the doctor.

"Azimio betrayed you?" Dr. Rogers asked and Dave snorted bitterly.

"I had to tell him, you know? He was my best friend and I just assumed he'd accept me. But then he just got real quiet. And then he was yelling at me and kicking me out of his house. He ended up spraining my knee and that was part of the reason I couldn't…couldn't fight back. And after just turning me out like that he went and told the football team. Not only did he tell them but he just sat there and watched. He didn't even try to stop them!"

Dave wiped roughly at his face, groaning at the tears that were falling down his face. He reached out a shaky hand and took the tissue Dr. Rogers offered, blowing his nose like a trumpet.

"Now I'm not trying to condone what Azimio has done, David," the doctor started. "But let's think of how he must of felt when you told him. I'm sure it came as a great shock judging by what you've told me, about the way you two treated people. I'm sure he must have been afraid, also, because it may seem like this would change everything. I believe that Azimio still cares about you greatly."

"Then why didn't he stop it?" Dave yelled, a sob being barely contained.

"An important thing to remember about this, David, is that Azimio didn't join them. This shows that he feels guilty about what he said, what he caused. He might have been scared to step in."

"Yeah, this all sounds fine and dandy," Dave said bitterly. "But how often does your psycho-babble bullshit actually apply to real life situations? My best friend, who had been there through everything before, sold me out. Nothing's going to make that better."

Dr. Rogers sighed, making some more notes on his notebook. "Do you want to continue talking, David?" The former jock glared at him and shook his head. The doctor nodded, clicking a button on the computer to call for an orderly to take Dave back downstairs.

* * *

><p>Dave was already in a bad mood when he reached the third floor and had every intention to ask Mrs. Tyme if he could go to bed early. He didn't want to sit through AJ's mumbling and Connor's rocking back and forth. Just as he was entering the sitting room, his eyes fell on Seth. The orderly was leaning against a wall, looking down on Kurt with a large smile on his face. Every once and a while, the older boy would reach out and touch Kurt's arm. Kurt would flinch but Seth continued to do it.<p>

Any other night Dave would have sighed and kept walking. Instead, something in him snapped and he dove for the orderly, his thick arms swinging. His fist collided with Seth's jaw, causing the man's head to reel back.

"You son of a bitch!" Dave yelled, swinging again.

"Dave!" Kurt screamed, trying to grab Dave's arm. Instead, he ended up with an elbow to the jaw and cried out in pain. Orderlies were coming from nowhere and grabbed Dave. He was pulled out of the room kicking and screaming and Kurt burst into tears. He was torn between wanting to go with Dave and wanting to help Seth. Ms. Higgins came out and grabbed his elbow, leading him to a small room by the nurse's station where she held an ice pack to his jaw.

"Are you okay?" She asked quietly and Kurt shook his head as he dissolved into sobs. She sighed but pulled him into a tight hug. "Would you like to go to sleep early, sweetie?" Kurt nodded and got to his feet, fallowing her out of the room. He caught Seth's eye as he went and the orderly winked, a signal for Kurt to skip his meds.

* * *

><p>Kurt was in the middle of the best dream where he was being cuddled by someone much bigger than he was. He couldn't see the person's face but he felt safe.<p>

'_I love you_,' he whispered. '_I love you, too, Fancy_,' the voice whispered back. Kurt turned to look the person in the face but suddenly a loud click woke him up as his door swung open.

"Hey beautiful," Seth whispered, sinking down onto the edge of Kurt's bed. Kurt groaned and pulled a pillow over his head to block out the sound. Seth chuckled and gently pulled the pillow away. When Kurt's eyes landed on Seth's bruised face he gased.

"Oh my God," he whimpered, reaching out a shaky hand. "You're a mess."

"Well that bruise on your face isn't that hot, either, babe. But Dave is a violent fellow, isn't he?" Kurt froze, looking Seth straight in the face.

"Don't talk about him like that," he said quietly, pulling away.

"I'm just saying, this is the second fight he's been in in like three weeks? Not good."

"You don't know what he's been through!" Kurt said, his voice quiet but fierce. "You don't know what he's had to live with, how many times he's had to fight because he'd let his dad down otherwise. He's been stuck in the closet because he's terrified to come out. You don't get to talk about him like he's just some big jerk!"

Seth reached out, trying to take Kurt's hand but Kurt pulled away. Instead Seth laid a hand on Kurt's leg and looked at him sadly. "You've had a rough day. I'm sorry I woke you. Just go back to sleep."

Kurt let out a shaky breath but curled up to go back to sleep. He turned away when Seth leaned in to kiss him and closed his eyes tight. Seth sighed again but whispered a quiet 'goodnight.'

Fat tear drops fell down Kurt's face as he curled in tighter on himself. He missed the quiet snoring from Dave that always came through the walls and wondered how the bigger boy was handling being back on Level Four so soon. With one last shaky breath Kurt fell asleep, wondering if they were ever going to get out of Oak Front Hills.

* * *

><p><em><strong>AN<strong>__: I hope you liked it. Please review._


	9. Chapter 9

_I don't own Glee._

* * *

><p><strong>You've Got Me If You Want Me: Chapter 9<strong>

"You've got to eat, Kurt," Seth said, sitting on the edge of the chair next to the quiet boy. Kurt looked up at him with dead eyes but nodded. They secret couple had been tense around each other since the day Dave attacked Seth and Kurt found that it was just easier to agree. He took another bite of mashed potatoes, grinning slightly when Seth gave him a round of applause. "Five more bites."

Kurt sighed, wincing as he swallowed the food. He looked across the dinning room Dave who was sitting quietly with Connor and AJ. The jock hadn't talked to Kurt since he returned from level four. His eyes moved over to Connor who was secretly putting his food on AJ's plate. Kurt smirked and wondered if he should start sitting with someone else so he could try it. Seth looked around real quick before placing a hand on Kurt's thigh.

"I know you're still mad at me," he whispered, moving so his back blocked the view of the nurses. "But you still need to eat. I'm worried about you; it's like you're wasting away in front of my eyes." Kurt let out a shaky breath, staring at the table.

"I'm sorry," Kurt whispered, taking another bite. He was just so tired of everything. Seth gently rubbed his back, whispering how proud he was of the younger boy as Kurt finished his five bites and nothing more.

"Good enough," Seth sighed, picking up Kurt's plate and walking away. Kurt crossed his arms over his chest and crossed his legs, staring down at his anklet. When he had gotten to Oak Front Hills it had been tight against his skin. Now it hung loose and Kurt was sure that if he lost a bit more weight he might be able to slide it off over his foot. He had just begun picking at the last few scabs on his arms when he felt someone staring at him.

Kurt looked up to see Dave watching him closely. The jock looked pale and sadder than Kurt had ever seen. He was pushing his food around on his plate, occasionally taking a bite. Dave didn't look away when Kurt caught him looking. Kurt swallowed thickly before mouthing: 'I'm sorry.'

Dave looked down then, setting his fork down on the table. He put his head in his hands and Kurt was sure he saw a small sob escape the boy. When Dave looked up again, his eyes were red. 'I'm sorry, too," he mouthed back. Kurt was ready to cross the room when Seth appeared behind him and took his elbow.

"Let's go," the orderly murmured. Kurt sighed but nodded his head. He rose to his feet, his legs shaking slightly. He never looked away from Dave as he left the room. In fact, he didn't even blink. He crossed his arms over his chest and looked down when he got onto the elevator, his breath coming in bursts.

"You okay?" Seth asked, running a hand over Kurt's upper arm. Kurt shook his head.

"I don't feel good," Kurt whispered back. As soon as the elevator door opened, Kurt dove, falling onto a trashcan and vomiting everything he had ate at dinner.

"Kurt!" Seth yelled, crouching down to rub the boy's back. "Hey, you're okay, you're okay."

"I just, I hate this. I hate everything!" Kurt sobbed, hugging his knees to his chest.

"I know. I know, buddy," Seth whispered, tugging at Kurt's elbow. "Don't worry about staying up tonight. You just work on getting some rest." Kurt sniffled but got to his feet, nodding at Seth. He took his pills and bit his lip as Seth explained to Mrs. Tyme that Kurt was sick and needed to go to bed early. The nurse slammed things around as she went to the back to get his sleeping pill early.

Kurt swallowed the pill, closing his eyes in discomfort. He fallowed Seth down the hallway and slowly crawled onto his bed. Seth looked both ways, stepping back to check if anyone could see them. He quickly stepped into Kurt's room and brushed the boy's hair back from his face.

"Everything's going to be just fine," Seth whispered as he kissed Kurt's forehead. "Good night, beautiful."

Kurt burrowed in his bed, tears pouring out of his eyes. He didn't bother to answer.

* * *

><p>"Hey Connor?" Dave asked quietly as the moved to the TV room. Dave bit his lip as he watched Seth walk back from the direction of Kurt's room.<p>

"Yeah, dude?" Connor answered, pulling his shirt up to make sure no extra fat was present from the food they had made him eat.

"While I was…While I was gone, was Kurt okay? I mean did you notice anything different about him?" Connor paused for a moment, cocking his head to the side in thought.

"He was quiet. I mean more so than normal. He seemed to shy away from Seth a lot, too, which is weird since he normally flocks to him. Why? Is something up? Why did you hit him, anyway?"

"Uh," Dave said, shifting in his chair. "No reason, really. I was just having a bad day and kind of snapped."

"Dude, I totally get it. Back at my high school I took a fucking folding chair to our gym teacher 'cause the voices told me, too." Dave furrowed his brow but didn't say anything. "Hey, you think you could cover for me? I want to try to get rid of some of this food."

"Um, no. I'm sorry, man, but I can't convince Kurt to keep eating if I'm letting you purge all the time." Connor sighed, staring at Dave for a moment.

"You love him, don't you?" He asked finally. Dave bit his lip as he shrugged. "You know, you keep saying he doesn't eat. But I think he looks awesome."

"Yeah, well don't encourage him. He's a big enough a mess without being like you." With that, Dave got up and crossed the room. Seth walked past him, pausing slightly. Dave took a deep breath before turning to the orderly.

"I, uh….I'm sorry, man. Bad day." Seth nodded his understanding.

"Just make sure it doesn't happen again."

* * *

><p>"I want to talk about the attack again, Kurt," Dr. Barker said, his voice cheery and bright. Kurt froze, staring at him with wide eyes.<p>

"Well I don't," he said, turning away.

"You have said that Blaine approached you outside the dormitory. He asked you to come inside so he could show you something he had prepared for show choir, correct?" Kurt flinched but nodded his head. "Blaine then took you upstairs to his room. What was waiting there?"

Kurt bit his lip, shifting so his hands were clasped in his lap. "He took me to his room. He had a single so he didn't have any roommates. I expected that we were going to be alone and that we would kiss and mess around a bit like we always did."

"But?" Dr. Barker encouraged, his pin held right above the notebook.

"…But we weren't alone. There were people in his room. A lot of people. They were all the older members of the Warblers. And I…I asked Blaine what was going on because everyone was just staring at me with this…this…_hungry_ look on their faces."

"What happened next, Kurt?" Dr. Barker asked quietly.

"Jeff was closest to the door and he grabbed my arm," Kurt said, his voice barely above a whisper. "He pulled me into the room and Trevor shut and locked the door. They…they pushed me down onto the bed and started taking my uniform off of me. They…they ripped my blazer…" Kurt trailed off again, not understanding why that was important. He cleared his throat before continuing.

"There were so many people in the room, and they were all holding me down somehow except two people. One of them was Blaine. He was standing by my head and he kept brushing my hair out of my face and smiling at me. He smiled at me!"

"Who was the other person, Kurt?"

"He was a senior Warbler member…His name was John and I used to think he was attractive. He…He was the one who pulled my pants off. He kept touching my…touching my penis. And then he shoved into me. There was no warning, he just stopped touching my penis and pushed his into me. I didn't even know he had taken his pants off." Kurt licked his lips, his eyes filling with tears. "And my body betrayed me! I got hard when he was hurting me…"

"Sometimes that happens, Kurt. I'm sorry but sometimes our body doesn't realize that we are going through something traumatic. The only thing our body will realize is that this is a sexual act and it's supposed to feel good." Dr. Barker paused for a moment and wrote some things down on his notebook. "Now, can you tell me anything else?"

"Blaine…he never touched me," Kurt whispered. "He just watched. He didn't hurt me."

"But he did, Kurt," Dr. Barker said. "He may not have physically hurt you, but he was a part of what happened. He didn't even try to stop what happened to you. In fact, he lead you to it, like a lamb to slaughter."

"He was there for me!" Kurt yelled, his eyes furious. "He was there for me all those times after!"

"Did he ever talk about it, Kurt? Did he ask about how you felt?"

"No. I didn't want to talk about it. But he didn't treat me any different!" Kurt was rocking back and forth, his body shaking with anger.

"But he's part of the reason you feel the way you do, Kurt. He may not have physically hurt you and he may not have treated you any different. But Blaine played a big part in what makes you as upset as you are." The two men stayed quiet for a while, Kurt's breath coming out in bursts. "That's it for today, Kurt. It's time for dinner, anyway."

* * *

><p>Seth wasn't working that night so Kurt wasn't watched as closely. He ran his hands over the edge of the table, pausing slightly when he felt a loose bit of trim. He bit his lip as he glanced over at the nurses and orderlies patrolling the room. Taking a deep breath, he tugged at the trim, wincing at the sound it made. Luckily, it was loud enough in the room that no one heard it. He carefully rolled it into the waistband of his pants, planning to use it later.<p>

That night, Kurt tongued his sleeping pill, wanting to have a bit longer to work. He kept his vision forward as he was escorted to his room and carefully sat down as he was locked in. He waited until the light in the hallway went out before pulling the trim out of his waistband.

He looked at his pale arms, sighing slightly. Scars littered his skin, some darker than others. He traced the darkest, the one he had hoped would kill him the night he attempted suicide. Kurt bit his lip before picking the metal trim up with a shaky hand. He pressed down, whimpering in delight at the feeling. It had been so long since he felt like he was alive. Long before that day.

Kurt used the trim to cut for a few hours. He added more cuts to his thighs, grinning at the way the blood bubbled before dripping down his leg. His hands began to shake as he added more cuts to his arms. Finally he swallowed his sleeping pill, curling up to fall asleep. He didn't even care that he was getting blood all over his sheets.

"Time to wake up, Kurt," Ms. Higgins said in her cheerful voice. She pulled his door open and moved to pull the blanket off of him. She gasped when she saw the blood. "Help!" She screamed, searching the pale boy's body for a pulse. She let out a sigh in relief when she found one and helped an orderly move him over to a gurney to move him to the infirmary.

Kurt woke up a few hours later, his wrist and thighs wrapped tight with gauze. Dr. Barker stood over him and marked things in his chart.

"What were you thinking, Kurt?" Dr. Barker asked, adjusting the IV Kurt hadn't even realized he had.

"I wasn't," the boy whispered, closing his eyes. Dr. Barker sighed but nodded.

"Get some sleep," he whispered, shaking his head at the injured boy. One step forward and two steps back.

* * *

><p>"Where's Kurt?" Dave asked as the Level Threes joined together for group therapy. Connor flopped down next to him, crossing his arms.<p>

"I saw them taking him downstairs on a gurney this morning," the skinny teen supplied. "He looked pretty bloody." Dave stood up quickly, limping slightly when his knee acted up. He limped over to Ms. Higgins who turned to him in surprise.

"What's wrong, Dave?" she asked, laying her notebook on her chair.

"Where's Kurt?" He asked again, his eyes pleading. The nurse sighed, swallowing thickly. She squeezed Dave's arm slightly, smiling sadly.

"Kurt had a bit of an accident last night," she said sadly. "He's just going to spend a couple days in the infirmary to get his strength back up and heal."

"Is he okay?" Dave asked, his face worried.

"He just took a couple steps back with his treatment. He'll get better, Dave, you'll see."

"Can I see him?" Dave asked, shifting so his weight was off his bad knee.

"I'm sorry, Dave, but you can't. You'll be able to talk to him when he comes back though. I promise."

Dave sighed but moved back to sit next to Connor who was complaining about how fattening the food at Oak Front Hills was. He looked up slightly as Seth entered the room, his face pale. Dave glared at the orderly who shook his head back. Dave looked away. If they were going to help Kurt, Dave realized that fighting was not going to help anything. He shook his head, clearing his mind as he listened to AJ ramble on about his other personality he called Samuel.

It was going to be a long day.

* * *

><p><em><strong>AN<strong>__: I hope you liked it. Please review. _


	10. Chapter 10

_I don't own Glee._

* * *

><p><strong>You've Got Me If You Want Me: Chapter 10<strong>

Dave paced back and forth, his arms crossed over his chest. His closed his eyes, sighing heavily, as he continued to ignore Dr. Rogers who watched him with a worried look on his face. Every once and a while he would reach up and poke at the bruise that had formed around his eye, wincing as he did so.

"David, will you please sit down?" The doctor finally asked. Dave glared at him, continuing to pace. Dr. Rogers sighed but nodded his head as he picked up his pen. "Fine, we'll just do it this way. So tell me, David; you and Connor got into a fight yesterday. Care to tell me why?"

"He's an asshole, that's why!" Dave growled, finally flopping down in a chair in front of the doctor's desk.

"Care to elaborate?"

"He's been helping him," Dave mumbled, not meeting Dr. Rogers eyes. He realized this made him a snitch but he was so tired. "Connor's been helping Kurt. They cover for each other so they can sneak away and throw up after meal time. Or so they can throw away food without anyone seeing it. Kurt was doing fine and then this asshat moves in and he just gets worse."

"Did you talk to Connor about this? Or Kurt?"

"Kurt won't talk to me," Dave said, jumping to his feet again and continuing his pacing. "And Connor just laughs it off like it's some big fucking joke! They look like fucking holocaust victims! It's disgusting!" Dr. Rogers scribbled something on his notebook, his eyes not leaving Dave.

"Thank you for telling me this, David. I will alert the nurses and orderlies on Level Three to keep a closer watch on Connor and Kurt. Now I want to talk about you."

"What about me?" Dave growled, not looking up.

"Were you aware that I was ready to move you down to level two, David? Last week I was ure you were making progress; you have begun to accept that you are gay, you've started to understand that this doesn't make you a bad person and that it's not your fault that your classmates don't understand this. You've accepted that you don't have a choice in this. You've even stopped taking responsibility for things that have happened here that you had nothing to do with. I was very impressed with this David. You've been here for three months, I've seen it take much longer."

Dave slowly lowered himself back into his chair, cradling his head in his hands. He didn't want to be moved down to level two; not yet, not without Kurt. How was he supposed to keep the smaller boy safe if he couldn't even see him? He bit his lip, looking up at the doctor's worried face.

"While I am still impressed with your improvements, I have to say you've taken a step back to some extent. I see the way you wince when someone starts talking about homosexuals, even if it isn't a derogatory statement towards you. Also, there's the co-dependence you seem to have with Kurt, David. Mr. Hummel isn't your responsibility. You shouldn't have to worry about what's going on with him, that's our job. And this fight hasn't helped me prove that you don't have some kind of dependence on him. I understand that you two knew each other outside of Oak Front Hills, but you rely on him far too much."

Dave bit his lip, saying nothing in his defense. He vowed at that moment that he wouldn't say anything until Kurt was better two. Dave didn't want to leave Level Three until he knew Kurt could come with him. He had promised the gleek that they would get each other through this and Dave was determined to keep his promise. After a few moments of silence, Dr. Rogers sighed and called for an orderly to escort Dave back downstairs. Dave growled slightly as Seth took his elbow but stayed silent as the entered the elevator.

The large boy gently lowered into a seat next to Kurt at a table near the nurse's station. Kurt flinched at the close contact but didn't make a comment. Dave reached a shaky finger out and stroked the fresh, white bandage that was wrapped around the young teen's wrist. He bit his lip, looking around slightly.

"They wanted to send me to Level Two," he whispered, sighing when Kurt flinched again. "But I'm not going without you. I'll stay here until you get better, I promise." Dave looked up searching Kurt's face. He bit his lip as the blue eyes filled with tears. "It's okay. Everything is going to get better. I'll wait. I'll wait as long as I have to."

The two boy's sat in silence for a long moment, Dave continuing to watch Kurt's face. The gleek finally bit his lip and reached out a shaky hand. He latched his too thin digits with Dave's and squeezed as tight as he could. It wasn't much, but Dave would take it.

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><p>Kurt sat back in the wheelchair as he was escorted downstairs for a check-up with one of the physicians. His wrists were loosely bound to the arm rests and a thick strap was locked around his waist. He kept his head low, hiding the tears that were still pouring down his face. His check-up was following an hour long discussion with Dr. Baker which had done nothing to help Kurt's mood.<p>

The patient and doctor had argued about Kurt's latest cutting session and the fact that someone had told on Kurt and Connor for purging after their meals. The doctor had accused Kurt of not facing what had happened to him.

"This is going to take a while to get through, Kurt, I understand that. But you can't just shove it away. It's going to eat at you and eat at you until there's going to be nothing left. You know that cutting, or not eating is dangerous. But you just let the trauma of what happened to you eat at you and eat at you until cutting and purging is all you have left. If you don't begin to accept what happened to you, Kurt, you're going to die and there is going to be nothing I can for you."

Kurt had began to sob, not wanting to admit that the doctor was right. He had clamped his mouth shot, refusing to continue the conversation. He had sighed, slouching in the wheelchair as Dr. Baker explained that he was being taken to the first floor where a doctor would be giving him a check-up. He also explained that Kurt had to be restrained since he was going to be on the first floor. The boy didn't even fight.

Kurt sat perched on the edge of the table, his face still down turned. He flinched as a doctor he hadn't seen before gently removed the bandages around his wrists. The man, Dr. Lewis, had cold hands and Kurt let out a shaky breath as goose bumps covered his skin. Dr. Lewis made small talk as he carefully checked over the cuts that had been sown shut, rubbing an ointment over them to keep them clean. His skilled hands moved, prodding gently at the teens ribs and stomach, checking for damage from Kurt's eating disorder. Dr. Lewis reached up to his neck, looking for his stethoscope which wasn't there.

"Damn," he muttered, shaking his head. "Tell you what, Kurt, I'll be right back. I'm going to leave you unrestrained because I trust you. Don't make me regret it." Kurt nodded, biting his lip. He let out a shaky breath as the door shut behind the doctor, grinning slightly when he didn't hear the click of the lock. He waited a moment or two before sliding off the table and rushing to the door. He stuck his head out, looking and making sure that no one was outside the door. With a deep breath he ran down the hall in the opposite direction Miss Higgins had brought him the first day. He stopped in front of a small door at the end of the hall, grinning up at the sign that said 'Emergency Exit.' Kurt through one last glance over his shoulder before shoving the door open.

It wasn't the opening of the door that set the alarm off. It was the anklet, once again fit tight around his ankle after his latest hospital stay, that set the alarms off. The siren reminded him of the fire drill at the high school, a constant high pitched ringing. He flinched as he heard the doors and window starting to lock down. He bit his lip but ducked his head, running for the tree lines. He could hear yelling close to the building but he didn't hesitate. Kurt whimpered as he tripped over a tree branch but quickly climbed to his feet, running deeper into the forest. He didn't know where he was going but he knew one thing for sure: he was never going back to Oak Front Hills if he could help it.

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><p>Dave had been napping when the alarms started going off. He jumped, almost falling off his bed as the heavy doors and windows locked. Orderlies ran down the hall, quickly escorting patients back to their rooms so they could be checked off a list. Apparently the doctors weren't sure who had escaped. When an anklet passes through an outside door it isn't supposed to, all the rest of the doors and windows locked down.<p>

Dave rubbed at his eyes, feeling completely groggy. He slide to the end of the bed before hauling himself to his feet. He leaned against the door, trying to see down the hall through the tiny window on his door.

"It's Kurt, isn't it?" he heard Seth ask as the orderlies and nurse's gathered in the hall. "He was being taken down to the first floor for a check-up."

"It does appear that it's Mr. Hummel," Dave heard Mrs. Tyme state, he voice squeaky. "Dr. Lewis left him unattended and he got out the side door in the examining room suite. A search of the grounds is being performed now."

Dave whimpered, carefully sitting down on his bed. His head was pounding and he black eye felt more swollen after he had slept on it. It his him hard as he realize Kurt had somehow escaped. Didn't he realize that these people were trying to help him? Didn't he understand how much he needed help? And didn't he realize how much Dave needed him? He let out a loud sob as he curled in on himself, his pillow slowly getting wet.

It was a good two hours before the total lock down was ended inside Oak Front Hills. Kurt had yet to be found, but the police had started their own search for the teenager. The patients from Level Three were to be escorted upstairs for dinner but Dave didn't show in the common room. The former football player flinched when he heard a light knock at his door. He looked up to see Seth standing there.

"Time for dinner, Dave," the orderly said, his voice guarded.

"It's cold out there," Dave mumbled back.

"Excuse me?" Seth said, stepping into the room.

"It's…It's November now isn't it? I mean I'm pretty sure it is, I've kind of lost track of the days. But it's November in Ohio. And Kurt ways less than 100 pounds. He'll freeze to death." Seth let out a tired sigh before sinking down onto the corner of Dave's bed.

"They'll…They'll find him. They've got a bunch of people looking for him. It's just a matter of time. Now, how 'bout some dinner?" Dave shook his head sadly and Seth sighed. "I'll just tell Mrs. Tyme you don't feel good and get your pills early. Everything will be fine, Dave."

Dave watched as the orderly walked away, pushing his blonde hair out of his face. The tired teen sighed, burying his head in his pillow again. He wanted to believe Seth. But he had grown to learn that Kurt was always full of surprises; surprises that Dave almost never liked.

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><p><em><strong>AN<strong>__: I hope you like it. I'm so sorry it's taken so long to update, but schools started again and my updates will be random. I'll try to write more as soon as I have time. Please review!_


	11. Chapter 11

_I don't own Glee._

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><p><strong>You've Got Me If You Want Me: Chapter 11<strong>

Two things happened that Friday. 1.) Kurt was found and returned to Oak Front Hills. 2.) Connor had a heart attack. Of course, they didn't happen in this order.

Dave had been sitting in the game room, playing checkers with a new girl named Elise. Connor had been standing at the door, arguing with Miss Higgins about the snack Dr. Rogers had sent for the boy to eat. Dave wasn't sure how, but Connor had lost even more weight. The scrub pants he had been given were knotted around his waist and he was constantly pulling them up. His cheeks were shrunken in and his skin gave off a weird yellow color. Connor's hair, which had been the shaggy style that Dave was attracted to, had started to fall out in random patches. His exposed arms were covered in bruises; every time something put even the slightest pressure on the boy he got a new bruise.

Dave kept glancing up from his game with Elise, his eyes locked on Connor's face. Although his face was still fierce, Dave noticed something was off with Connor. His voice waivered every once and a while and he would wince and grab his arm or chest. He blinked several times, shaking his head as he refused to eat the crackers Miss Higgins was trying to give him. Dave looked away, smiling slightly as Elise got her first King of the game. He looked back, freezing as Connor collapsed in front of the nurse, clutching his chest.

Everything happened fast from there. The orderlies kept the patients out of the way as Miss Higgins and the other nurses got Connor on a gurney and moved him of the room. Dave couldn't get the pale boy's face out of his mind. He could hear the nurses yelling for Dr. Lewis and he saw a nurse running past the door, yelling for someone to get aspirin.

The excitement ended as soon as it started. Dave heard the heavy metal doors clank shut and an orderly named Steve worked to calm down several patients who were upset. Dave climbed to his feet and slowly moved to the window. The sky was a depressing fray color and almost all of the trees had lost their leaves. The grass was still covered in the early morning frost. Dave was sure that it was going to snow soon and he felt a twinge of sorrow as he thought of Kurt. It had only been two days, but Dave was sure that the skinny teen was freezing because the lack of warm clothes.

Dave let his head fall against the cool glass, sighing heavily. Everything seemed to be going wrong. He closed his eyes hearing the faint sound of sirens. Soon, an Ambulance was speeding up the drive way, it's red and blue lights flashing. Dave watched as two paramedics jumped out of the truck, carrying equipment with them. The left the building again a five minutes later, pushing Connor out in a bed; an oxygen mask was fixed to his face. Dave could only hope that the same process wouldn't be repeated soon with Kurt.

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><p>Kurt leaned against a tree, hugging his arms closely to his chest. He shivered, wishing he had grabbed a sweater before he ran. He wasn't sure where he was but he was pretty sure he was far enough away from Oak Front Hills that he wouldn't be found anytime soon. His stomach growled, reminding him that he hadn't had a full meal that he kept down in almost four days. He hated to admit it, but Kurt knew he was going to have to eat something soon.<p>

Kurt whimpered as he tripped over another branch, his ankle throbbing in pain. The joint was swollen and Kurt cursed the flimsy slippers he wore. He limped ahead, letting out a sigh of relief when he found a small town. He sucked up to the owner of the small tavern and ate a small sandwich before limping back out to the road. Kurt kept his head down, too afraid to meet anyone's eyes. He glanced up at the small general store, wondering if he could sneak in and steal some kind of sweater before making his way out of town.

Luck, however, wasn't with the injured boy. A police man stood right inside the door. He was talking to the cashier, showing the women a copy of the picture Kurt had taken his first day at Oak Front Hills.

"You mean that young man right there?" The old woman asked, pointing at Kurt. Kurt froze for a moment, his eyes wide as he stared at the police man who was turning around to look at him. Kurt turned, trying to run as fast as his injured foot would take him. He tripped on the last step, stumbling slightly across the parking lot. He had just straightened back up when the cop grabbed him, pressing him tightly against his parked cruiser. Even though it was cold, Kurt could feel the sweat from the overweight oozing through his clothes. The balding man was breathing hard as he patted Kurt down. Kurt whimpered as the officers hands patted at his legs and tried to struggle against the sausage like fingers that pinned him to the car. Soon, cold metal handcuffs were being slid onto his wrists which were crossed behind his back.

"Nice try, kid," The cop, who was named Officer Sampson, said. He pulled Kurt away from the car and opened the back door. He pushed Kurt towards the seat, slamming the door shut behind the frightened teenager. Kurt's blue eyes were wide as he stared though the cage separating the front and back seat. "I do have to say you made it a lot longer than anyone else who's tried to escape that joint. But they always get caught sooner or later."

Kurt sighed, swallowing thickly. He shifted so his weight wasn't resting on his hands and leaned his forehead against the cold window. It turned out that Kurt had gotten a lot farther than he had originally thought. The drive back to the hospital took about a half an hour and Kurt constantly shifted, his shoulders screaming in agony at the way he was being forced to sit. The only blessing was the fact that Officer Sampson turned the air up in the car. The underweight teen soaked in the heat, his skin losing some of its pale twinge.

"Yeah this is Officer Sampson, patrol car 573. Just letting you folks know that I found your escaped patient in little town called Murberry. He's restrained and I'm bringing him back know. Be about a half an hour 'til we get there. If you could, have Mr. Reagan waiting for me. Thank ya'." The officer said into his cell phone, turning a hard left onto the back road that would take them back to Oak Front Hills.

"So, kid, why'd you run?" He asked, looking at Kurt in the rearview mirror. Kurt shrugged but didn't answer. "I've seen kids from that place. The ones that run? The ones that fight help? They never extent to much. I normally see them right back in this car, charged with some greater offense. Take some advice, kid. Get your shit together while you still have a chance."

Kurt didn't answer. He kept his eyes trained on the road, watching as the trees passed by. 'Looks like I'm going back to hell,' Kurt though, closing his eyes and sighing deeply. 'And I'm never going to get out.'

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><p>Dave was still sitting by the window when a white police car slowly pulled up the drive. He held his breath as the cop got out of the car and pulled up his pants over his large belly. He fixed his hat on his head before making his way to the back door. He roughly pulled a handcuffed Kurt out of the back seat and escorted him to the front door of the facility where Mr. Reagan was waiting for them. The former football player let out a sigh of relief as Kurt was led inside.<p>

Ten minutes later, Kurt was lead onto Level Three with Officer Sampson and Mr. Reagan right behind him. A new anklet was fixed around his right foot, the black box shinny with a red light blinking at the top. Dave noticed the heavy limp the boy walked with, leaning dependently on his right foot. The teen was still handcuffed and he rolled his shoulders as the adults talked.

"Thank you so much for returning him as soon as you found him, Officer Sampson. Mr. Hummel has become one of our problem patients lately. I'll be personally talking with both his father and doctor once I see you out. Obviously a new form of treatment must be put in place to get through to this young man. "

"Just doing my job, Officer Sampson said, patting his pockets to find where he had put his keys. He stock the smallest key on the ring into the lock on the handcuffs and pulled the cold metal away from Kurt's wrists. Kurt rubbed at small marks the cuffs had left as the cop clipped the cuffs back onto his belt. "Anymore problems, just let us know, Mr. Reagan."

Mr. Reagan took Kurt's elbow and escorted him to a bench by the nurse's station. "Sit. I'll be back to deal with you once my conference call with your father and Dr. Barker is finished. Don't move until you're told to."

Kurt watched with dull eyes as the admissions director and police office crossed the hall to the heavy door leading out. Officer Sampson turned around, meeting Kurt's eyes. "Remember what I said, kid." Kurt sighed but looked down. He bit his lip, scanning the room. He yawned slightly as Dave quicly crossed the room and perched on the bench next to him. He sighed in relief as Dave's body heat continued to warm him.

"Are you crazy?" Dave growled in Kurt's ear. He huffed in frustration when Kurt simply raised an eyebrow at him. "Don't answer that! What in the hell were you thinking? It's November in Ohio! You could have frozen to death out there. And in case you haven't noticed, you need help, Kurt. Why can't you see that, huh? You need serious help!"

Kurt looked away, picking at the scabs on his arms. Finally he looked up, completely changing the subject.

"Where's Connor?" He asked, looking around.

"Gone," Dave said simply, still glaring at the boy he was in love with.

"You're kidding me!" Kurt said, throwing his hands in the air. "How can someone that fucked up get sent to Level Two before me?"

"He's not on Level Two, Kurt," Dave said, frustration and pain evident on his voice. "He had a heart attack. He hadn't been eating enough to support himself and his heart couldn't take it anymore. And that's where you're headed, too. Can't you see that?"

Kurt stared at Dave, his eyes wide. He opened and closed his mouth a few times, not knowing what to say. He licked his lips, clearing his throat.

"I-" Kurt began, jumping as the door to the nurse's station swung open.

"Mr. Hummel, Mr. Reagan has called and said to keep you in your room until he's finished talking with your father and they decide what to do with you. Say goody-bye to Mr. Karofsky." Mrs. Tyme grabbed Kurt's elbow and dragged him down the hall, the key to his room already out. The small teen hobbled along, wincing in pain as he practically ran to keep up. Dave watched sadly as he went.

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><p>Kurt hugged his knees close to his chest, the boot on his left foot keeping his injured ankle in place. The black plastic ran all the way up his leg until almost his knees and Kurt fiddled with the straps as Dr. Baker paced.<p>

"I don't want to talk to you," Kurt mumbled. Dr. Barker sighed before sitting down in his seat and slamming his notebook down.

"That's fine," the doctor said. "I wasn't planning on having you talk. Just listen; you have caused more than your fair share of trouble lately and this can't continue. Your father, Mr. Reagan and I have talked and came to a conclusion. This was your last chance, Kurt. You'll spend a week on Level Four for your run away stunt. Anything after this-and I mean any little thing-we will start a more drastic behavior modification treatment.

"What you went through was horrible, Kurt. No one will deny you that. But this does not give you an excuse to act the way you have been. Arguing with nurses and orderlies, refusing to eat, purging when you do eat, refusing to participate in group therapy-or any other therapy that isn't strictly with me, cutting, running away. And don't think I don't know about you verbally attacking AJ last week to the point that the poor boy had a mental break down. Your family may have sat back and let you get away with whatever, but that's not going to happen here."

Kurt held his breath, waiting in fear for Dr. Barker to say he knew about his relationship with Seth. He let out a sigh of relief that he quickly turned into a whimper as the doctor moved to stand in front of him.

"This has gone on for too long. From here on out, anything little thing. I mean it. Any act of defiance, refusing to eat, verbally attacking another patient, or anything else you seem to think you can get away with will lead to a more drastic form of treatment. You hear me?"

Kurt kept his eyes low, wiping his eyes on his sleeve as he nodded his head. Dr. Barker sighed and called for an orderly to take Kurt down to Level Four.

"I'm upping your medication, Kurt. I'm also adding a mild sedative. Be good. I'll see you in a week."

Matt appeared in the room; his grip on Kurt's elbow was tight as he lead the limping teen downstairs. It was as if he was afraid that if he let go, Kurt would run again. Kurt didn't look up as they entered the elevator or as Matt entered the code to get onto the level. The beeping was a different sound than Kurt was used to and he assumed they changed the codes after he had escaped.

Kurt swallowed the pills he was given, not even thinking about tonguing his medicine. He didn't fight as Matt carefully worked his stiff limbs into a strait jacket. He swayed on his feet slightly as a nurse came with the key, sticking the metal in the lock as Matt typed in the code for his door. Kurt limped into the padded room, his boot making a weird sound against the cushions.

"Seth told me to tell you that he'd talk to you when you get back to Level Three. He's pretty disappointed in you," Matt whispered as he checked the straps on the jacket. "I'll be back tonight to get you moved to a bed."

Kurt's eyes filled with tears as the door buzzed, signifying that it was locked. He looked up, biting his lip at the camera in the corner he had never noticed before. He moved so his long legs were stretched out in front of him, the ugly boot making his injured foot look odd. The red light on his anklet blinked in time with his heartbeat. Kurt struggled slightly with the jacket, trying to get his arms moved to a position that didn't hurt his shoulders. Finally he sighed and laid back on his side, the tears coming heavier now. Once again he had let someone down. It just never seemed to end.

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><p><em><strong>AN<strong>__: I hope you liked it. Please Review. _


	12. Chapter 12

_I don't own Glee._

**You've Got Me If You Want Me: Chapter 12**

The day after Connor had his heart attack, Ms. Higgins gathered the residence of Level 3 during the daily group therapy session.

"I have some bad news, guys," she began quietly, pulling a wadded up tissue out of the sleeve of her jacket. "Connor had another heart attack last night. I'm sorry, but he didn't make it this time."

Dave had let out a shaky breath, looking at his hands. He hated to think about the boy who had towered over him. Although Dave and Connor had had their disputes, Dave still thought Connor was an awesome guy. He couldn't stop his mind from wondering to Kurt. Is this what would happen to Kurt soon? Would the next time Ms. Higgins gathered them all together be to tell them that Kurt didn't make it. The linebacker bit his lip, closing his eyes against the tears that were welling up.

"We will have a small memorial for him tomorrow night; Think of it as a chance to say goodbye. If you all need someone to talk to, feel free to talk to your doctors or myself, or any of the other nurses or orderlies. Is there anything you any of you would like to say about Connor? Maybe about how you've had gotten to know him the past few months?"

Dave licked his lips, looking up from his lap. AJ began talking about how him and other personalities really liked Connor. One personality which AJ had named George apparently was attracted to men and had been in love Connor. Dave couldn't stop the glare at the obviously disturbed boy. Elise whispered something about how Connor could be obnoxious sometimes but that she had thought he was funny. Belle twitched and rocked back and forth but didn't say anything. Finally Ms. Higgins turned to Dave.

"What about you, dear? You two seemed pretty close?"

"I…I…" Dave stuttered, swallowing deeply. "I-we said a lot of stupid stuff and got in a lot of fights we didn't mean. But I'd like to think that no matter how screwed up we are and how screwed up this place is, Connor and I were friends. Can I be excused?" Dave didn't wait for an answer. He climbed to his feet and left the room, leaving Ms. Higgins calling after him.

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><p>Dave stared out the window with mixed feelings. Snow was coming down heavily outside and the furnace was working overtime to keep the residence of Oak Front Hills warm. A tall blonde couple walked slowly into the building, the man with his arm wrapped tightly around the woman. Dave bit his lip, looking away. Without even being able to see the couple, Dave knew it was Connor's parents coming to claim his things.<p>

Dave watched as the snow clumped together, sticking to the trees and grass. The cars in the distant parking lot all were covered in a thin layer of white powder and Dave wanted nothing more than to start a huge snowball fight. In the back court yard Dave could see the level ones playing in the snow and he was extremely jealous. Winter was one of Dave's favorite seasons and he hated being cooped up inside. Just as Dave was remembering all the years his family had gone to cut down their Christmas trees and how Thanksgiving was coming soon, the heavy metal door at the end of the ward beeped. It swung open to reveal Mr. Reagan escorting Connor's parents inside.

"I am so sorry for your loss Mr. and Mrs. Dawson. I wish I could say that we were able to help your son. We truly did try. He was a remarkable man, your Connor. He'll surely be missed."

"It's just so to the holidays," The blonde woman said, her voice cracking as she sniffed. Mr. Dawson tightened his grip around his wife. "Thanksgiving is next week and…I mean we knew he wouldn't be home for the meal since he was supposed to still be getting treatment here. But now everyone's just coming home for his burial. It's…it's just not fair!"

"You're right, Mrs. Dawson. It's not fair. But you must remember that the ones who love us never really leave us. He'll always be there with you, in your heart."

Dave lowered his head, having to stop himself from laughing at the Harry Potter reference Mr. Reagan was trying to pass off as his own thought.

"Your son didn't have many personal items with him here at Oak Front Hills given his Level Three status. But you are welcome to look through his room and take home anything you need. We will truly miss your son."

Dave watched as the couple was led down the hall. They kept a grip on each other as if that was the only thing keeping the grieving parents together. The former Titan couldn't help but wonder if this is what his parents would have been like if his suicide attempt had been successful.

Just as Dave had gone back to staring out the window, the metal door beeped again. The door swung open to reveal Kurt sitting in a wheelchair with his broken ankle propped up. Matt pushed him in the room, signing him in at the nurse's station before moving Kurt to the sitting room where Dave was. The linebacker bit his lip again before slowly climbing to his feet. He grabbed the arm of his chair and dragged it after him, sitting back down in front of Kurt.

The two gay teens stared at each other for a long time, neither wanting to be the first to look away. Finally Dave ran a hand over his tried face, sighing heavily.

"So," he whispered, giving Kurt a crooked grin. "How's your ankle?" The gleek snorted, shaking his head as he bent his knee slightly.

"It hurts. But they claim I won't have to have surgery on it, so I guess that's a good thing," Kurt said, reaching out a tiny hand to take Dave's.

"That's good. Umm, what else did they say? About you, I mean? I mean I'm assuming you've been on Level 4 all week, but now what?"

"Uh, yeah. Level 4 for a week," Kurt said, licking his lips as he adverted his eyes. "Apparently this was my last warning. Um, they've met with my dad and have his permission to start harsher treatments if I continue to act out. I'm pretty sure I'm maxed out on crazy pills. Daily meetings with Dr. Barker, limited group time, more solitary time, and they gave me a minimum calorie intake for each day with daily weigh ins. Awesome." Dave stared at the broken boy in front of him, not sure what to say. He squeezed the hand in his and looked Kurt directly in the eye.

"You aren't going to like this, but you need this."

"You really think so?" Kurt asked, shifting in his chair.

"Yeah. Anything to bring the old Kurt back. But not just the old Kurt, the new and improved Kurt." Kurt smiled at him slightly and nodded, not knowing what else to say. The two boys sat in silence for a bit longer before Kurt cleared his throat.

"They…they told me about Connor. I…I'm sorry? I mean I know you guys had your differences but I kind of think you were friends, too."

Dave shrugged, not wanted Kurt to see the tears that welled up in his eyes at the mention of the late boy. He looked up as the Dawson's slowly made their way to the nurse's station. Mrs. Dawson clutched Connor's sweatshirt to her chest as if she could still smell him on it.

"It really scared me, you know?" Kurt said, his voice barely above a whisper. Dave let his eyes trail over to Kurt. "I…I didn't know that you could have a heart attack that young. I didn't know that eating disorders could do that. I…I don't want that to happen to me."

"I don't want that either," Dave whispered, meeting Kurt's eyes. The two boys sat in silence for a long time, just taking comfort in the fact they were both still there. By the time dinner rolled around, two hours later, Kurt and Dave still sat hand in hand.

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><p>Thanksgiving rolled around and the chill in the air hit the brick buildings of Oak Front Hills hard. The morning of Turkey Day, Kurt woke up feeling extremely depressed. He missed his family more than ever and he would give almost anything to see his dad. He carefully sat in the wheelchair Jesse, a new orderly, pushed into his room. He went through his morning ritual, leaning heavily on his good foot as Jesse stood by the door and watched. Breakfast was served on the floor and the patients talked quietly among each other. Dave perched on the chair next to Kurt, eating a piece of bacon off the smaller teens plate. Kurt smirked at Dave who shrugged.<p>

"I'm thankful for you," Kurt whispered. Dave blushed and grinned.

"Right back at you," Dave said.

"I feel like you're my family today," Kurt said, giggling slightly as his morning medication took effect. "Happy Thanksgiving."

"Happy Thanksgiving, Beautiful," Dave whispered back, making Kurt blush. The two boys played checkers most of the morning, whispering silly storied to each other. Around noon the nurses and orderlies from the floor came out and began gathering the patients to lead them up to the dining hall for "Thanksgiving Dinner." Dave fell in behind Kurt, taking the handles of his wheelchair. An orderly hung behind them, making sure they stayed with the group. Kurt wasn't looking forward to the fattening meal and spending the rest of the day moping around missing his family. He laid his head back against the head rest as Dave pushed him through the door. Kurt sat up straight, his eyes open wide.

"Daddy?" He asked, a small grin covering his to thin face.

"Surprise, kid," Burt said, his balding head for once missing a hat. "Apparently it's Parent's Day; even for you trouble makers." Kurt blushed and looked down at his hands as Burt moved behind him to push his chair. Dave fell back and looked around for his family. His face fell when he didn't see them. "Karofsky?" Burt asked, causing Dave to jump.

"Uh, yes Mr. Hummel?" Dave asked, shifting from one foot to the other.

"Your parents not here?" Burt asked, concern evident on his face.

"Um, no sir. They normally go to my grandparents in California for Thanksgiving. I guess they didn't want to break the tradition." Dave lowered his head, ashamed as tears welled up in his eyes. He hadn't seen his parents in three months and had hoped that when he saw everyone else's parents that his would care enough too.

"Well," Burt began, throwing a glance at Kurt who looked hopeful. "you can join Kurt and I. Carol had to work today so it's just me."

"Thank you, sir," Dave whispered, following the older man to a table towards the back. Kurt grinned at the two men in his life and tried to make pleasant conversation.

"You know, when Finn told me you were here two I was pretty worried, David," Burt began, locking eyes with the linebacker. "While this is one of the best facilities in the state, I truly contemplated pulling Kurt and sending him somewhere else. You and him don't have the best history."

"I know, sir. And I'm sorry for that. I've apologized to Kurt. And I mean it."

"So I can see, kid. I'm glad I didn't pull Kurt. I think you're truly helping him. I know he's hit a bit of a rough patch," Kurt swallowed thickly, looking down at his broken ankle and mostly full plate. "But I don't want to think he'd be like if you weren't here. So thank you, David. Thanks for trying to save my son."

The three men ate quietly, Burt catching Dave up on football news and trying to tell Kurt about the glee club and failing miserably.

"This would make so much more sense if Finn was explaining it to you, but they said he couldn't come since he's under eighteen."

"It's okay, Dad," Kurt said with a small smile, taking another bite of turkey. "I'm just glad you're here. I've missed you."

"I missed you, too, kid. Now clean up your act so I can take you home." Dave looked away awkwardly. He just wanted to see his parents and know that they were still proud of him. He wanted a relationship with his father like Kurt had with his. Dave smiled weakly when Burt met his eyes and looked back down at his plate.

After a couple hours the orderlies and nurses came back and began ushering everyone back downstairs. Dave stood awkwardly as Kurt hugged his father tight, tears filling his eyes. Finally Kurt and Burt pulled apart, both whispering that they loved each other. Burt slapped Dave on the back, giving him an encouraging smile as Dave took the handles of the wheelchair.

"Keep an eye on my kid, Karofsky. He's all I have left." Dave gave Burt a weak smile as they walked away. Burt stood, watching with his arms crossed.

* * *

><p>"Hey," Seth whispered in Kurt's ear as he made his rounds. Most of the other patients were sleeping off their fullness after the huge turkey dinner. Kurt grinned sleepily up at Seth.<p>

"Hey, I miss you," Kurt whispered back, his eyes flicking to the nurse's station where no one was paying attention.

"I miss you, too," Seth whispered, kissing Kurt's hair. "Tongue your meds tonight. Maybe we can make up for lost time." Kurt grinned and nodded. Dave sighed from where he was sitting close by but didn't say anything. Sometimes it was like things had never changed.

Kurt carefully moved to the edge of his bed as Seth unlocked the door. He carefully stood up, his weight leaning heavily on his good leg.

"We have to stay in your room, babe," Seth whispered, closing the door a little behind him. "That new fancy anklet they got on you keeps you locked in this room at night." Kurt nodded, leaning back on his bed as Seth carefully straddled his lap. "God I missed you, you beautiful boy."

"I missed you, too," Kurt whispered as he kissed Seth heavily.

"What were you thinking? You scared me half to death. I was sure you were dead." Seth moaned as he deepened the kiss, laying Kurt back gently on the bed.

"I'm sorry," Kurt said, nibbling at Seth's lip. The two boy's fought for dominance, hands pulling at each other's clothes.

"Do you trust me?" Seth asked as he carefully pulled at Kurt's pants. Kurt blushed and froze slightly. He took a deep breath but nodded, searching Seth's face. "Then let's try something new."

Seth pulled his own shirt over his head in one swift motion and quickly got out of his pants. He moved back to Kurt, carefully pulling the youngers boys shift off and his pants down slowly, struggling slightly to get it over the boot. His cold fingers trailed over Kurt's stomach and gripped his dick tight. Kurt moaned and arched off the bed. Seth's hips moved fast, digging into Kurt's pelvis as Kurt withered on the bed. It didn't take long before Kurt reached his orgasm, gasping for breath as Seth whipped his hand on the mattress.

"Wait," Kurt whispered as Seth pulled away. "I want to do something for you."

Seth looked at Kurt with wide eyes as Kurt flipped them in a clumsy move. He carefully shimmied back, wincing as his foot hit the ground hard. He stood on his knees and with a deep breath he took Seth into his mouth. Seth groaned, fisting the sheets as he tried to keep himself from thrusting deeper down Kurt's throat.

* * *

><p>Mrs. Thyme always took her smoke break at the same time. She had for years and she probably would for years to come. She has just made it out the back door, hugging her coat tight to her body as she patted her pockets for her lighter. She cursed under her breath when she realized that she had left in her purse and groaned as she made her way back to the stairs. She had just unlocked the door to the ward when she saw a door open that shouldn't be.<p>

The elderly nurse could hear moaning as she moved closer to the room that she realized was Kurt Hummel's. The boy had been a problem child lately, and Mrs. Thyme assumed that the boy was caught in another nightmare. With a sighed she moved into the door way and stopped short with a gasp.

Kurt was on his knees with Seth's penis in her mouth. In all her years of working at Oak Front Hills Mrs. Thyme had never caught one of her patients in any kind of relationship with an orderly.

"What the hell is going on here?" She screamed, causing Kurt to yelp and jump. Seth sat up quickly, his eyes wide. Kurt grabbed for his pants and tried to get them up as the nurse strode into the room, grabbing both Seth and Kurt by their elbows. "Get dressed this instant!" The two boy's struggled to get their clothes on and Kurt was pretty sure he was going to hyperventilate.

Mrs. Thyme grabbed both boys escorted them to the elevator. Kurt whimpered as he limped quickly to keep up with the angry nurse. As the doors shut behind them Kurt closed his eyes. He knew he'd really done it this time. The only thought he had was at least he saw his dad one last time before he screwed up everything.

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><p><em><strong>AN<strong>__: I'm so sorry it's been so long! Pharmacy school is kicking my butt. But I'll try to update as much as I can. I hope you liked it. Please review. _


	13. Chapter 13

_I don't own Glee._

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><p><strong>You Got Me If You Want Me: Chapter 13<strong>

Kurt sat in the corner of the elevator, hugging his knees close to his body as he rocked back and forth. His breath came out in deep sobs and he refused to look up at the two other people in the elevator. Seth however, was trying to talk his way out of it.

"It's not what you think, Mrs. Tyme!" He argued, his loud voice causing Kurt to whimper and flinch.

"You're not talking your way out of this one, Mr. Oliver," she growled. The elevator beeped as the doors swung open and she roughly pulled Kurt to his feel. A tired looking Mr. Reagan stood outside his office, his brief case and coat in his hand. He sighed heavily.

"I guess this means I don't get to go home, doesn't it?" He said to no one in particular as Kurt limped along next to the nurse, his eyes red with tears. "What happen this time?" Mr. Reagan asked as he pressed his access card to the sensor outside his door. The door clicked and he swung it open, stepping aside to the nurse could lead Kurt and a still arguing Seth into the room.

"I caught Mr. Hummel giving Seth oral sex in his room, Mr. Reagan," Mrs. Tyme said, crossing her arms angerly. "This is both an abuse of power and illegal!"

"Illegal?" Seat exclaimed, his eyes going wide. "No way! The age of consent in Ohio is 17! Kurt's going to be 18 in four months!"

"It is illegal, Mr. Oliver," Mr. Reagan said with a sigh. "Kurt is considered unable to make his own decisions since he is in here. Should his father press charges it would definitely be seen as sexual assault."

Kurt whimpered, ducking his head as flashback from Dalton hit him strong. Mr. Reagan sighed again before clearing his throat and continued.

"Seth, clear out your locker and then return here. Mrs. Tyme, would you be so kind as to escort Kurt up to Level Four until I can get his father here. We need to have a group meeting with Mr. Hummel, Dr. Barker, Kurt, and myself but I'm sure it can wait until morning. I just need to find out what Mr. Hummel would like me to do about the Seth situation."

"Yes, Mr. Reagan. Would you like him in 7e or 7g?" Kurt already knew that e meant a strait jacket and g meant strapped to the bed. He hoped to God he said g.

"I believe g will be okay for now. Tell them not to give him a sleep pill, though. I'm sure his father will be here early and I want him responsive.

Mrs. Tyme staid long enough to sign him in on the floor before scurrying outside for her late smoke break. Matt the orderly took Kurt by the arm, tisking at the bruises that were already appearing from the nurses hanks.

"I'd hoped you wouldn't be back, Kurt," the tall boy said with a sigh and he slowly lead Kurt down the hall way. He unlocked the door and the motion lights kicked on. Kurt carefully sat on the bed as Matt slipped the boot off his foot and replaced it was a smaller brace. Matt lifted his feet off the ground and carefully strapped them to the edge of the bed. He apologized repeatedly as Kurt hissed in pain. The orderly made sure his knees were bent slightly to keep him from being too uncomfortable. Next he moved and pulled Kurt's hands up just past his head with his elbows bent. The straps around his wrists were slightly tighter and Kurt whimpered as he tried to work them free. Lastly Matt pulled a strap across his waist, locking it under the bed.

"I'll be back in a few hours to get you once your dad gets here, Kurt. Just try to get some sleep, kid."

Kurt couldn't stop the heavy sobs that racked his body as the lights dimmed. He heard the heavy lock move into place on the door and heard Matt's heavy footsteps as they took off down the hall. What were they going to do with him now? Dr. Barker had never explained what the more intense treatment would be. He just told Kurt not to act out. He tried again to wiggle his hands loose but it was all in vain. Although Matt had always been kind to him, he didn't favor him like Seth had.

He then thought of Seth and whimpered at the pain in his chest. He hadn't meant for Seth to get in trouble. He never wanted him to lose his job or get in trouble with the law. He had just wanted someone to love him. And even if he was in the loony bin, it had felt real. Kurt took a shuddering breath, shutting his eyes. He had no idea how he was going to sleep, but he knew he wasn't ready to face his father.

* * *

><p>Dave had had trouble sleeping and was awake far before the orderly came to unlock his door. Although he didn't have a clock, he was sure it was close to seven in the morning. He sat on his bed, watching the drive way where there shouldn't have been any cars and was surprised to see Mr. Hummel's truck and a police car slowly making their way over the speed bumps that littered the drive.<p>

Dave sat back, racking his brain for any sounds last night. Had Kurt ran away again? Had something happened? Apparently Dave had slept more than he thought because he couldn't remember anything. He watched again as Mr. Hummel greeted the cop as they made their way into the building. Ten minutes later, the police officer left, escorting a hand-cuffed Seth to his car. That's when Dave knew something had happened the night before.

Twenty minutes later the orderlies began unlocking the patient's doors. Dave's eyes flicked to Kurt's room which was empty. He hurried down the hall, catching up with Jesse who normally worked the afternoon shift and looked slightly out of place.

"Where's Kurt?" He asked, his heart beating loudly in his chest. "What happened to him?"

"Afraid I can't tell you that, Dave. Just know Kurt's up on level four and they're working everything out." With that Jesse smiled sadly at him and turned away.

Dave cursed, pulling at his hair in frustration. What had Kurt done now? He thought the boy was finally going to get himself together so they could get out of here together. At this rate, Kurt was never leaving and Dave wasn't sure how much more he could take. With a sigh he joined the crowd and got ready for the day, wishing he could just have a normal love life for once.

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><p>Kurt couldn't believe he had actually fallen asleep. But here he was, being woken up four hours after Matt had left. The door clicked loud as it swung open and Matt and Ms. Higgins entered. The nurse slowly undid the ties on Kurt's ankles and slid the boot back on his swollen foot. Matt undid the strap around his waist and his wrists and carefully helped him off the bed.<p>

"I have to go to the bathroom," Kurt whispered and Matt nodded before taking him down the hall. Kurt relieved himself and brushed his teeth before Matt escorted him back into the hall where Ms. Higgins had a wheelchair waiting. Kurt gratefully sunk back down and bit his lip as Matt took him upstairs.

Mr. Reagan, Dr. Barker and his father were talking quietly when he entered the room and Kurt wondered how long his Dad had been there. Burt looked pale and tired and Kurt hated that he had caused that. He expected his father to hug him when he came into the room but instead Burt sighed and shook his head. Kurt swallowed thickly and ducked his head to keep his dad from seeing the tears in his eyes.

"Well Kurt, I was hoping it wouldn't come to this," Dr. Barker said, standing slowly. Kurt didn't look up. "We'll start out with a few little things. Your pants privileges have been removed; we've found that our problem patients behave better in the gowns to try to get their pants back. Because you've lost so much weight and you're body is lacking nutrients so much, we will be inserting a feeding tube to make sure you get back to at least a minimum weight that is healthy. We will be starting you on tests, just to see how you react in certain situations. Also once you get up to a healthy weight you'll undergo a few round of shock treatments. This is supposed to help with your depression. I'd like to start you on them now, but I fear that your heart wouldn't be able to take the stain."

"And then what?" Kurt asked quietly, still not looking up.

"Hopefully after that, we'll have seen some improvement in you Kurt. I have, however talked to your father about last possible effort treatment, but I don't want to worry you about that because I hope to not have to use it. Do you have any other questions, Kurt?"

"Will I still be on Level 3?" The gleek asked, worrying about Dave.

"You'll still have your meals with the Level 3's. The machine you're feeding tube will hook into will be in there and there is another patient on Level 3 with a tube. You'll be sleeping and spending the rest of your time on Level 4. Once you're strong enough to withstand some of the stronger tests and the shock treatment, however, you will be moved to the Palmer Building," Dr. Barker pointed out the window to a three story building on the other side of the property. "That's where we do the shock treatment and tests like that. There aren't many patients there so focus is more one on one." Kurt bit his lip and nodded.

"Do you have anything to say to your father, Kurt?" Mr. Reagan, his hands steepled together on his desk.

"I'm sorry, Daddy," Kurt said quietly, still not looking up. Burt sighed and shook his head again.

"Just get him better," he said as he bent and signed the forms on Mr. Reagan's desk for them to begin the treatments. Kurt's eyes filled with tears again. He'd really let his father down. "I love you, kid." Burt whispered as he left the room. Kurt couldn't help but cry harder. Mr. Reagan nodded his head and Dr. Barker took control of the wheelchair.

* * *

><p>Kurt was pushed to an examination room where the supplies for his feeding tube were waiting. He sat in the chair where the doctor explained his hands were being strapped down to keep him from pulling at the tube while it was being inserted. Dr. Smith, the resident MD at Oak Front Hills entered the room and slipped on a pair of gloves. Kurt watched with wide eyes as Dr. Smith carefully lubricated the end of the tube before turning back to Kurt.<p>

"Okay, Kurt, this may be a bit uncomfortable, hence the hands. First, I need you to tilt your head back and extend your neck for me." Kurt took a deep breath. "This might feel a bit weird, but his machine is going to hold your head like this. Try not to fight it." Kurt winced as the arms to the machine tightened into his scalp, keeping him from moving.

"Now, when I say so, I need you to swallow for me to help the get through. Like I said, it's going to be a bit uncomfortable." Kurt whimpered as the tube was slowly pushed through his right nostril and down his throat. He swallowed when Dr. Smith asked him, his eyes filled with tears from the weird feeling.

"Please stop," Kurt cried when the sensation became almost too much of him.

"You're okay, Kurt," Dr. Smith said quietly, still pushing the tube carefully down his throat. "Big swallow for me." Kurt did so, whimpering. "We're almost there, I promise. Another swallow."

Finally the doctor stopped pushing and pulled a portable ultrasound machine closer to him. "I just have to make sure it in place right, okay Kurt?" Dr. Smith studied the screen intently before nodding in satisfaction. He pulled an end cap off the tray and placed it on the end of the tube after cutting off the excess. He then taped a tube to Kurt's face so it went to behind his ear. The doctor removed the machine holding his head back and smiled

"You did very good, Kurt! Now, it might feel a bit weird in your throat for a while, but you'll get used to it. Try not to mess with it, or we'll have to repeat this process, okay? One of the nurses will flush it out a couple of times this morning before you're hooked up for the first time. Because your stomach is so small, you'll have five smaller meals, rather than three normal sized ones. Now I'm also going to hook you up with a heart monitor. It's just going to measure how strong your heart rate is and how you react to certain situations. I also need to get you changed into your gown."

Kurt sighed but raised slowly after his hands were freed. He took off his shirt and pants and looked away as Dr. Smith attached the leads of the heart monitor to his pale, bony chest. A small back on a strap was hung sideways off his body and a gown pulled over his head. Dr. Smith handed him a robe before gesturing back to the wheelchair.

As Kurt was strapped to the bed again on Level 4, the gown arranged so he was exposing himself to which ever orderly entered the room next, he thought about how he had really screwed up his life. He thought about how much he wanted to go home and be himself again. He thought about how wanted to sing in Glee Club and laugh at Rachel's theatrical ways with everyone else. He thought about how he wanted to love and be loved. And mostly, he thought about how he wanted to be loved by Dave.

He heard the little machine measuring his heart pick up as he started sobbing, wondering how he had let things get so bad. His throat killed as the sobs irritated the tube and snot poured freely out of his unused nostril. God, he hated himself.

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><p><em><strong>AN:<strong>__ I know it's been so long! Christmas break starts in a week and a half and I swear I'll update more then. And sorry if this chapter wasn't quite up to par. I wasn't really sure how to get this out so I could get to the next chapter. But please review, I hope you liked it. _


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